paranoid DH - wider family relationships

[2ndPGchimp]

Hello
I am a little terrified to write this in here but I could really do with hearing from other partners of people who suffer from extreme anxiety and paranoid thoughts. My OH is getting some help for his mental health (although he does not accept at all that any of his thoughts are paranoid) and I am doing everything I can to learn and help him. I know this is going to be a long haul and I am committed to being here for it. However, there is one specific thing that I am really struggling with.
Part of his paranoid thinking makes him believe that everyone in my family dislikes him, wants us to get divorced etc.
With all the other paranoid thoughts, I can try to support him without a huge impact on me, but this one is different. We see them very infrequently since this came on and it is really hurting me - I miss my family and my kids miss their cousins etc. Each time we do see them, after we come home, he talks for a long time about all of his thoughts about them, which are pretty unpleasant. It is very difficult to hear and not say anything to defend people that I love.
I know that it is the paranoia talking and I know that to him it is real and he is really suffering with all of these thoughts, so objectively, I can manage with that.
But as a human and a family member, it is really crushing to hear all this stuff and not do or say anything to challenge it.
Any advice would be very welcome, even if it is just to know I am not alone.

I guess maybe I am alone!

Hey! You are not alone.
I found this thread because I’ve been Googling for advice on dealing with a partner with paranoia.
i don’t have much advice as I’m REALLY struggling with it all, particularly the fact that it’s so difficult to get the person with paranoia to accept they may be being paranoid.
I’ve spent two years minimising increasingly weird and frankly abusive at times behaviour. Questioning whether I’m really to blame, etc.
in my case, my husband became extremely paranoid about the intentions of two of our best friends, who were like family to us, and it’s been really really difficult.
I have stood firm in my position that I don’t share his views, I love these friends, and I have continued to see them. Occasionally with him, but that hasn’t been a great success and based on my experiences, I’d advise you see your family on your own.
I also think, TELL your family about what you’re going through. You have nothing to be ashamed of and you need and deserve all the support you can get.
I’m currently trying to get us couples counselling but worried it’s too late really. This has gone on for over two years, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to feel the way I used to about my husband ever again.

Yes definitely go see them on your own and enjoy a break from it. Paranoia is exhausting because the very nature of it makes it almost impossible for the patient to realise they are paranoid.

Thank you so much for your replies. I am sorry Babayaggatheboneylegged that you are experiencing something similar. I have tried defending the positions of those who are the subject of his paranoia, but the effect is that I become embroiled in it too - I must be feeding it etc.
As Icantthinkwhat says, the nature of the illness makes it soooo difficult.
I have been wondering about couples counselling, but I just don't think he is capable of it right now.
I have told my family some of what is going on, although not all. I have also had some counselling myself to help me deal with the despair I was feeling - that has helped me to see some of the things I was doing were not healthy for me and I am now stronger about getting time for me and not accepting some of the negative behaviour towards me.
Thanks again.