Mental health with a toddler

[shannonhinton0421]

I'm struggling lately, my son is 18 months old and doesn't sleep, he wakes up for 3/4 hours a night, he always been in consistent routine bed about 7:30 wakes up about 7:30, he's went through every single regression since 5 months old but what ever is happening now has lasted 6 weeks, he's awake for 3/4 a night form about 11-3/4am and still wakes up for the day at 7/8. He has a 1/2 hour nap during the day and is still full of energy.

I'm a stay at home mom all day, clean my house, cook dinner for everyone and then start work at 6pm - 10, I finish work and he tends to wake up not long after so I'm never asleep before he wakes up. I'm Literally exhausted I feel so bad for saying this but I just feel like I'm constantly looking after everyone, my partner is a brilliant dad but he just doesn't understand, my partner watches our son on a evening and puts him to bed about 7/8, my partner just doesn't understand how hard it is for me to make sure everything is always prepped, everything is always clean, I cook fresh meals 6 days a week and try to do lots of different activities with my son all the time, even if just a trip to the park I make sure we do something everyday. I know I put so much pressure on myself all the time but I just feel so guilty. When he sleep I feel like a can juggle everything well, but this lack of sleep is causing alot of issues.

My partner keeps saying to me, he won't be a toddler forever and you'll look back and be greatful you didn't have to put him into nursery, which I am greatful for I love my baby boy more than anything in this entire world, I feel guilty for feeling like this, but I am struggling!

I'm sorry to post this maybe herring it off my chest will make me feel better I don't know, I suppose it's nice to know someone else understands

Sorry about all my spelling mistakes I didn't even check before I posted

Firstly; It is a struggle, every bloody bit of it is. I had a non sleeper too, and partner was away in the military and would arrive at the weekends full of energy wondering what the issue was.

Its hard, and it feel seven worse on broken sleep. We had a sleep nurse via the NHS, (ask your HV) which helped but ultimately every single thing a child does is a phase, might be a week long phase, might be a year. but eventually they change as they grow

It will get easier, different, and challenging but easier.

RE: the nursery comment, my son went to nursery at 10 months old for my own mental health, I love my child but i whooped and cheered out of that car park every day. YES you cant get the toddler years back, but whats the bloody point if you are run ragged and dead on your feet

If you need help, grab it and never ever feel bad or like you are missing out, you are his mother, nothing takes that away especially a break and a bit of me time- you'll be a better mother with a 'full cup'

P.S its ok to slob indoors and take a rest, dont force yourself to do activities everyday. AT this age yes he might love going out and about but he probably loves being in and playing too. if you need a break, give yourself one. it can all wait

Christ, put him in childcare for a couple of days and tell your partner to fuck off. I will never look back and regret either of my DDs going to nursery! It's brilliant, I am well rested, get time to myself and to work, DD1 absolutely loves going, and the time we spend together I am not knackered and trying to juggle her and a bunch of other stuff.

Wait, you're looking after an 18m old all day, working at night, getting no sleep and doing all the housework?

That is 100% why you're feeling so shit. You need to fix AT LEAST two of these.

You need a combination of...

-childcare
-less work
-sleep training
-a cleaner
-your husband doing a LOT more at home
-a weekend away to recharge

He helps with childcare, everything is done for him by the time he gets home, he gets home at 5, we all eat dinner together and then I go to work

Thank you, I think sometimes we put that much pressure on our selves to make sure everything always 'perfect' even though I know no one if perfect, I'm just having one of those day I think! Thank you x

Yeah! It's hard going for me I can't lie, some day I'm fine, I power through and feel like super mom, days like today I feel like a terrible mom, my son is still rocked to sleep and I don't know to stop it, I did try and let him cry it out when he was 14 months old and I hated it, I tried the pick up put down method that didn't work, I'm truly exhausted right now I think maybe I'm coming down with coming too!
I think your right a weekend break is definitely needed! I'm going to speak my partner when he gets home about finding a better balance

We also rocked to sleep till he was about 2.5 (which seems MENTAL now that he is 5) how? why? how did I cope

Its amazing how quickly you forget as your child moves on and changes you forget the hardships. I dont have a magic answer about how to stop the rocking, for us it just changed to shushing, then humming nursery rhymes, lying with him, constant phases.

concentrate on things you can easily change, like leaving the washing up for a day, or some childcare, or set aside one day a week where you stay in and rest, and the other shit like the 3 hours of rocking him to sleep will fee that tiny bit easier

Thank you it's nice to know I'm not alone with this rocking! I had tried to lay with him I've even put him in our bed and he thinks it's play time and starts pretending he's a dinosaur lol. I'm going to start trying to sit with him and not stand and rocking I think

Ive just looked back at my old Whtsapp Msgs to my other half, (because i cant remember!) the rocking stopped for us when he hit nursery as he was more tired. it also helped that he would have a bottle at bedtime and when he was asleep I would panic that he would get hurt and remove it from his crib (???) one night i forgot and he slept for about 4 hours straight. Turns out he liked to grab the empty bottle and hold it

All id say is try and turn your thinking on its head, everything you think you should do, as long as they are safe, try to do the opposite. its a funny old world this sleep thing, but it gets easier