I have no one in real life I want to bore with this so I'm just going to put my feelings here.
in May I left the oven on and went upstairs to get my daughter for lunch. I got distracted playing with her and the house caught on fire. Me and my daughter got out safe but the house was ruined, the kitchen was gone, and everything was very smoke damaged. It's been 5 months since that happened I've since had a baby and after claiming on the house insurance we've recently moved back in.
during the 5 months we lived with my partners parents I never cooked a single meal, that wasn't out of laziness I was just terrified of burning their house down, I have no confidence in myself anymore, I don't cook at all if my partner isn't here. When I am cooking I'm constantly planning how I'd get my 3 children out of the house if it were to happen again. Last night I went to the bathroom and through the window I could see flames, it felt like my heart stopped. I opened the window and next door we're having a bonfire. If I smell fire or here crackling I get so panicked. Am I always going to feel this way? I'm crying writing this it's really affected my mental health