I can’t even pinpoint what I’m feeling and why

[Whatissleep1]

I’m a FTM to a four month old baby who is my world however is also quite fussy, she’s not a chilled baby and is in the sleep regression (which makes me feel crap when I see friend’s happy easy content babies) so it’s quite tiring alongside doing housework and it’s taken me a long time to recover from birth. I also feel guilty because I barely have enough time for self care let alone make an effort to have sex or make myself look attractive for my husband.

My husband doesn’t really help me much round the house and baby though. I’ve had it out with him and he says he will help more but we will see. We’ve had the same conversation time and time again.

I was at home with them both, my baby is napping and he’s playing his game and all of a sudden I just had this overwhelming urge to just get out, I feel incredible anxious and overwhelmed and I don’t really know why. I’m just sitting in my car at the moment as needed some alone time. I feel so overwhelmingly tense and like I could cry. What is wrong with me

I hope your ok op, it doesnt sound as though your getting much time for yourself, I've felt like you've described before, and it's usually when I'm tired, overwhelmed and trying to do it all, with no time for myself.
Can you try to give yourself regular breaks, meet a friend for coffee, honestly even just a brisk walk around the block alone helps me! It's hard being a mum, but you need to make some time for you when you can. Dh needs to help out more, so tell him to get off his game as I'm sure there's plenty he can help you with!! 🙄
Have another chat to him if needed, it's not fair on you to do it all.

I'm so sorry you feel this way OP. It's challenging and tiring having a new baby. Congratulations by the way it sounds like you're doing a great job! Do you think more self-compassion for all that you do and have achieved would help? I thin it might... please don't beat yourself up, soon enough you'll find your new rhythm.

Now, to the overwhelm and wanting to run away, could it be that you have some past childhood trauma or bad experiences? You don't need to answer here if you don't want to, but something might be triggering you?

Also, please do find regular time to recharge (get your husband to do the baby care for a couple of hours) and do allow yourself to cry sometimes. Is there something that needs to come out? I'd be looking into that, maybe journal etc

Hi Whatissleep1, I guess judging by your username you are not getting much sleep!
I remember those days so well and not with fond memories. Being a Mum is hard and for me, I found the hardest bit was when they were very little. You do need you time but also i do think its worth mentioning how you feel to a close friend or your Mum or even a health professional. We all struggle at times in our lives and there is nothing like a new baby to make you realise just how thin you spread yourself.
I am not one for dressing up - I personally don't care if my hubby fancies me or not (I know thats not the norm!) but stop doing things for him if you don't feel like it. He's not reciprocating.
Concentrate on yourself and your new baby. Also do not feel obliged to keep on top of the housework - it will wait. Your other half may realise you need help if things don't just happen. If things all appear to be the same and you look like you are coping, then he will most likely let you crack on with it.
I know you may not feel like it (I didn't) but join a group with your baby. There will be Mums out there who are "picture perfect!" but its amazing how many of them will be going through a very similar situation to you and a good rant about it with like-minded people, will make you feel so much better.
Good luck.