I have NC.
She has considerable, life long MH issues. Though she has never talked to us about any sort of diagnosis, her behaviour matches that of someone with bipolar disorder.
She is very, very intelligent, has a very sharp sense of humour that I love, can be determined, very creative, and show a fierce pride and protectiveness towards her children.
She can also be manipulative, vicious, dishonest and cut the whole family off for months on end, though mostly during this time I have kept the communication from me to her.
It's hard.
During the most recent episode I decided for the first time to no NC with her and her children. She has said some very, very hurtful things to me and in fact I was just doing as she asked. She would create a WhatsApp group, fill it will vitriol and then leave. I had muted them but you can see a bit, and my sisters told me what she was saying.
I have in the past asked for police welfare checks when I've been concerned, asked her to at least give me the contact number of a friend who could I could contact. I try to balance her (apparent) desire not to be contacted by us with my love for her as my sister e.g. "I will leave you alone, I just want to know you're OK"
She is now back and needing love, reassurance and affirmation. Challenging her on past behaviour will result in her cutting me off again. I can easily chat away about day to day life stuff, but she gets 'heavy' with all her feelings, and pours on the guilt.
She's not daft, she knows if I'm just replying to the easy stuff and glossing over the heavy stuff, but I just can't keep giving her what she needs.
Oh this is long enough. I'm not sure what I'm asking - maybe I just need reassurance.