Struggling old mum

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Please help. I just can’t cope. There’s never any end of people who need you or ignore you. I cook I clean, I irritate everyone, my Dh isn’t pleased with me and is tired and exhausted. Teens ignore me. I don’t see the point of me. I never get anywhere, the house is never nice or homey, I can’t think what to cook.
my mum died a few months ago and it feels like everything I believed in has come crashing down. Im just exhausted with holding it together through various huge amounts of shite, spent years, Im now realising, people pleasing my dozy family while the reality is I didn’t help them when I should have and didn’t help my Dh when I should have and got torn between the two and now it’s a disaster.
im just totally f**d up and am now wondering, actually waondering what’s the point of me. I don’t do anything well, and what I do do, I focus on the wrong things.
sorry, just..I don’t know what to do and I’m scaring myself.

Well one thing you CAN do right, is go and speak to someone. GP if you think they're OK, or call one of the mental health helplines for a chat, and they should also have resources and be able to tell you how to go about finding help.

I completely recognise your situation, but just because your dh is struggling, and just because your kids are being teenagers, doesn't mean you have to put up with it.

The fact that you wrote this implies to me that you're not useless, that you do care, and that they would notice if your weren't there.

Also, it's well known that people take it their problems on those closest, but that's not ok.

Talk to someone else, in real life, who can give you perspective.

Good luck.

Thank you I’ll call the gp tomorrow.
I think I’m the problem actually.
I don’t have anyone in rl to run this by.
I called a helpline and they just listen. Nipt very helpful,but ok I guess
just want to feel less anxious

Condolences op. I lost my mum ten years ago and I've not been the same since. My GP really helped me at the time, please speak to them. Be kind to yourself, you've suffered a huge loss

What do you mean you didn't help them when you should have op?

Oh kits a mess. I could never get to her to visit ( lived abroad) so when she was I’ll brother helped her and I stayed here to help Dh and that caused resentment from brother and heartache for me.

Also I lost confidence and lost the plot I now realise. I’ve been living in cloud cuckoo land.I was told Dh was abusive but now I think he was just desperate and I’m to blame.

Im so sorry for your loss. Your mum has died, and that's enough to make everything seem empty and futile and miserable.

Your feelings of guilt over not helping your DB and your mum is a very normal part of grieving. Today is the first anniversary of my mum's death, and I was there for her while my DB was overseas... believe me rven though I was right on the front line i still feel guilty for not doing enough, not doing the right things, not saying the right things at the right time, not managing to keep my mum alive longer. Does your DB resent you? Very likely yes - because he is grieving too, and anger is a big part of grief. Sometimes the wrong people are the target, and the emotions are wildly exaggerated.

Maybe spend some time in one of the online bereavement support groups, or reach out to a local funeral home in your town as they will be able to refer you to private counsellors. I think you may benefit from talking through your feelings with someone caring and objective.

Thanks.that’s kind if you to reply