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Original poster

Struggling new mum

11 replies

cates94 · 08/10/2022 19:04

Need some help/support. I'm a FTM and welcomed DS 4 weeks ago via what I describe as a very traumatic emergency c-section. He now has severe colic and silent reflux plus constipation and now suspected CMPA( need doc to confirm if so) he screams constantly and I'm struggling mentally to cope. I am told constantly to 'just get through the next 12 weeks' but that doesn't help. My baby is unwell and upset and screaming and I cry constantly. I feel we haven't bonded as much as we should as was shell shocked during his birth, did not get skin to skin or to even hold him fully at first. Any advice on how I get through this in one piece. He's currently on omeprazole (don't think it's working) water in between feeds and co lactase drops and optibac drops
X

OP posts:
PerfectPrepPrincess · 08/10/2022 19:06

You need to demand an oviva dietician appointment ASAP from your health visitor for suspected cmpa. He should not be suffering for that long and neither should you.

DoubleHelix79 · 08/10/2022 19:47

It probably seems impossible now, but it WILL get easier. Our DD didn't have any medical conditions but was a very angry baby. A lot of screaming, not much sleep. For the first few months we were just surviving, but little by little it would get less exhausting. Then one day you realise that you're in an ok place and the good days outnumber the bad ones. One day at a time! All the best OP.

Feathe · 08/10/2022 20:04

@cates94 I could have written this, my birth was the same and baby had awful reflux and Cmpa. I remember sitting on the floor sobbing as I just didn't know what to do. I felt like she was so miserable and I couldn't bond with her. No one was listening, I was fobbed off by the doctors. Try and be strong and advocate for yourself and baby.

Ask for a dietician appointment asap and peads referral. Speak to your gp, it may feel scary but you need support too.

DoubleHelix79 · 09/10/2022 11:10

How are you doing today OP?

Original poster
cates94 · 09/10/2022 14:58

Last night and today have been better. A bit of a happier baby, will take the quiet when I can! Thanks for checking in I appreciate it. Ringing gp first thing tomorrow morning and my husband is coming to make sure they take us serious!

OP posts:
DoubleHelix79 · 09/10/2022 19:52

Glad to hear you've had a slightly easier time and hope you can recover a bit. In case it helps: Don't feel like you need to establish any 'routines' just yet - at this age just do what allows you to get through the day. Napping on you - fine. Feeding to sleep - fine. It will all sort itself out in time. And get some away time regularly. Nice shower, walk, even a supermarket trip without baby to worry about. Makes a huge difference.

Original poster
cates94 · 09/10/2022 19:55

Thank you so much! It does help. He's currently fast asleep in my arms after a couple unsettled hours of colic (which I will take as he's been so great today) nice to feel I'm not the only one and this is normal (kind of) x

OP posts:
ineedafairygodmother · 09/10/2022 20:29

Didn't want to read and run.....
I'm sorry I have no advice regarding your LO however have you spoken to your HV or GP about yourself? I'm in the north east and there is a group called 'mums talk', maybe there's one similar where you are?It's basically a baby group where you meet new mums and other babies so they have the interaction however it's run by NHS therapists so helps mums cope with anything they are struggling with (bonding with baby) I found it really helpful and met some great mum friends there too.
Happy mum equals happy baby Flowers

Original poster
cates94 · 11/10/2022 20:08

Just an update. Doctor confirmed she is sure he has CMPA prescribed milk and said he would be a new baby in 48 hours if this is the issue. However he will not take the milk and refuses to eat and cries. It does smell awful! Going to try a combo of goats milk and co-lactase drops as the curds in goats milk can be digested easier!
Mentally doing better. Seem to have narrowed down the worst episodes to about 2 hours and then just general unsettle from 4am onwards. Thanks for everyone's advice and concern. It's really made a big difference to how I feel and validated a lot of feelings

OP posts:
PerfectPrepPrincess · 11/10/2022 21:37

Don't muck about with goats milk. Go back to prescribed milk and persist pronto.
Dream feed.
Bounce on yoga ball and feed.
Once he breaks the association of pain with milk you'll be on the right track.
At his age he shouldn't really taste the difference. It's just pain association.

Original poster
cates94 · 12/10/2022 00:10

I had no idea he couldn't taste. I wonder why he accepts and drinks his original formula without fuss if it's pain association. He seems to enjoy the milk and drinks great on the hipp anti reflux

OP posts:
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