Explaining self harm scars to DC

[MummingWithoutAmum]

Any advice on how to explain them? Baby is only 10 months so still have some time but it plays on my mind a lot. Mine are on my arms and upper thighs

“A long time ago something hurt me and it left some marks”. It obv depends on what they ask and the age of the child though.

If they don’t ask then don’t mention it. If they ask when they’re under 18 then say something short and factual like “My arms got hurt when I was younger and I prefer not to talk about it, they’re fine now.” Then change subject asap.

I wouldn’t introduce the concept of self-harm until they’re adult. When they’re adult say whatever you feel at the time, that’s 18 yrs ago and much depends on their personality.

You may be surprised how little your children notice about your body. I have scars from an accident and surgery and my child has never shown any interest in what they are. The only thing he ever said about my body was when he decided my mole was a third nipple (it isn’t!’)

“I got hurt when I was younger” (nothing fresh)
at 6-8 “they’re called scars and that’s what happens when you get hurt badly”.
At 9 when asked how I got all the scars
“I’ll explain how when you’re a lot older and can understand the information properly, it’s not nice for children to know about “

I agree with other posters. I wouldn't explain they were self inflicted as self harm seems to make others much more likely to do it.

"I hurt myself a few years ago, and sometimes, when you hurt your skin, it leaves a mark like this, called a scar - but don't worry, they're all better now" would be my first gambit with a young child, when asked.

I would say that they are from an illness that I didn’t get treatment for soon enough so ended up with scars from it. But I did get better and now they don’t hurt in any way. And I’m some ways they remind you of how important it is to deal with illnesses as they occur and how you can get better when you do.

Sows the seed that you need to be open to treatment, as with any other illness, when it comes to mental health.

I'd just say that I got hurt with something sharp and it left marks

Be careful not to make it sound like someone else done it, I’m not saying to say you did it but don’t make it sound like someone did it to you as that could scare a child just as much.

I have an 8 year old who has never seemed to notice them probably because they’ve just always been there.

I would imagine they will understand way before 18 what they are.