Life after nervous breakdown

[OlympicProcrastinator]

Hi I was wondering if anyone had a similar experience that could offer some advice or solidarity.

In 2018 I had a nervous breakdown due to work / family pressure. For a while after I was unable to count or I’d end up in places workout any idea how or why I was there. I was given a brain scan to rule out dementia / Alzheimer’s and all looked fine.

However, I’ve never been the same. I have a permanent stammer which worsens when tired or stressed, sleep issues and noticeable cognitive decline meaning I’m unable to work at a higher level and can’t earn what I used to. I constantly make silly mistakes and often forget important things. I’m only 45 and I’m in good physical health. I eat well and exercise daily but I’m afraid I’ll never be the person I was.

Has anyone got any experience or advice they can offer?

Nothing helpful I’m afraid. I had a ten year long ‘episode’ leading to medical retirement from the NHS. I tried a couple of other jobs since then, the longest I could hold down was a year or so. I just don’t have the resilience any more. Luckily I have an arrangement with my spouse that they work (they thrive on it) and I look after the house and garden.

I divide my life into pre breakdown and post breakdown. I’m having therapy at the moment and one of the things that we’re working on is acceptance that I’m never going to go back to the person I was. It’s hard because I feel like a failure now. I wish I had the answer for you OP.

Hello
I had similar in 2010. Hospitalised. Derealisation etc.
I found it very difficult. I was left with long standing anxiety, panic and claustrophobia. So difficult to function in a few areas and hard to travel.
I'm 49 now - I built a new career for myself which is less stressful but more profitable. I have learned to deal with anxiety and panic a lot better. I still have down days and definitely know what you mean about feeling cognitive decline. I work a 4 day week and rely heavily on calendar and email record of everything. However its manegable. I have given up feeling awful about it. I found Marsha Linehans work on Radical Acceptance really useful. Please reach out if you have any Q - life is not over just different. I really manage my stress as much as I can and take lots of time out, In a way I had to re-set who I was and what I wanted. I have to say the freedom it imposed on my was a nice thing to experience even though at the time I thought I wanted the old me back.
Are you taking vitamins, minerals and sleeping lots - really important that you do so. Dont mourn the person you are - life happens for you, not to you.

Depression causes ongoing cognitive difficulties sometimes, are you depressed as a result?

Marsha Linehans work on Radical Acceptance was great for me - it does not mean you give up but accept and move forward. Might help. Mindfulness was great too - in the right here and now as opposed to being sad about what happened. Solidarity with you.

Thank you so much for your replies. I’m sad to hear others have felt the long term impacts too but makes me feel less alone.

I completely relate to the ‘accepting a new reality’ aspect. I was about to embark on a lucrative but stressful career when it happened. I now have a job that I love but it’s not a great earner and has no prospects. Even if it did, I’m unable to work at a higher level. I feel sad about the life I’ve lost and need to work on that. I wouldn’t say I’m depressed as such. Just struggling to let go of the person I was knowing I’ll never be her again.

I fall asleep by half 8 every night but always wake several times a night with awful thoughts or feelings of dread rolling round in my mind. I have found eating well and exercising vigorously is more helpful at alleviating these symptoms than various pills I’ve been given over the years but I can’t prevent it completely. So I guess I sort of sleep ok for 4 hours and terribly the rest.

I take vitamin D, zinc and bovine collagen daily. Any suggestions on anything else?

Marsha Linehans work on Radical Acceptance was great for me

Thank you I’ll look this up.

Hi OP
OK so you will have to accept some of the new scenario but some you might be able to change. Career wise I was very atached to my career - one of the subject matter experts in my area but guess what - I ended up being equally as good at something else, that took time.

The sleep thing is interesting - is it stress or anxiety thats doing that? Id be looking to investigate more. Hot baths, not exercising too much too close to bed time, yoga and learning to meditate. 4 hours sleep is really not great - I think if you can fix that a lot might fall into place.You cannot emotionally regulate if you are sleep deprived. I take Magnesium also and a bath once a week.

Tell me what you think but really look at the sleep thing. I have to have 8hrs min to function - its noticable when I dont.

Not me, but my mum, and no she was never the same. We did learn to live with the new her though, and she gradually improved to be the best version of herself after that, she was more aware of her limits post breakdown than before. She took more care of herself. It forced her to make some big changes.

Sometimes the breakdown process allows you to rebuild and become stronger, but you can feel fragile for a long time, and the light that has gone out takes a while to return and once it does it is a more steady light. Perhaps not the great ups and downs of before. The breakdown never happened again, even though she was fearful it would.

Unless you can sleep I don't think you will return to any real version of yourself. You sound utterly exhausted. I would focus on getting that corrected, a sleep consultant would be a good place to start. If you can crack sleep you will be well on your way to feeling much better It is a tough journey. Have you explored how you go to that point? I think that is a very important part of the recovery.

Aware I'm straying dangerously close to Mumsnet cliché, but, your sleep pattern is exactly that of many peri/menopausal women on here!

I had a nervous breakdown around fifteen years ago and am currently in recovery after another one a few weeks ago.

After the first time I was diagnosed with agoraphobia and chronic anxiety. I read a book by Claire weekes titled self care for your nerves. It helped immensely and after six months of following it to the T I recovered remarkably well.

I was never able to function at the same level as prior but you know what? For the first time in years I was able to finally actually feel some sort of peace and a release of all the tension that I was carrying around.

I'm now following the same routine. But this time feels different. I recognize that I now need to make some permanent changes to my life. Yes I'm much slower in every aspect but I will hopefully still be productive.

I would suggest you physically and mentally accept the way your body is right now. move around very slowly and let your body heal the way nature intended it to.

You will be amazed at how well our body responds to self care, acceptance, and when we get out of its way.

Tell me what you think but really look at the sleep thing. I have to have 8hrs min to function - its noticable when I dont

I do get 7-8 hours but only 4 is good, then there is an hour or so break then I go back off but it’s full of nightmares and it’s restless. I exercise first thing in the morning and then late afternoon but not too close to bed. I will try magnesium as it has been suggested before so clearly something in that, thank you.

Freespirit12 I will try the Claire Weeks book thank you.

Second magnesium. It's the only thing that helps me sleep these days (very stressful job). You can also have magnesium oil or body butter, which I feel absorbs better. This is the one I use, it lasts ages too www.britishchemist.co.uk/product/magnesium-oil/