Health anxiety

[Simbaxox]

I'm not sure why I'm posting this as I know that reassurance isn't really something I should be seeking with health anxiety. I'm just struggling badly tonight and can't seem to get myself out of it.

Since this beginning of this year I've been convinced I have bowel cancer due to a few episodes of bleeding after using the toilet. I've been to 6 or 7 GPs, have multiple examinations and even seen a consultant after having a positive fit test. Was told by consultant that he's not concerned at all and that I have piles but I still cannot shake the idea that I have this cancer and that because it has been left so long that it has spread.

Every ache and pain I get now I convince myself is because the cancer has spread and I'm going to die. I currently have a pain in my shoulder and I've convinced myself it's because it's in my liver. I have an ultra sound for static growth as I'm currently 28 weeks pregnant and I'm so scared that baby isn't growing properly because there's a tumor inside of me that is stopping him from growing. I so, so scared to go for the scan tomorrow because I'm sure they're going to see something terrible.

I realise how ridiculous this all sounds but it's so hard to snap out of and I'm at my wits end at what to do.

Does anyone who's suffered from health anxiety or still does have any advice on what could help to get this under control?

What has helped you in the past? Who looks after your MH issues? Have you contacted them?

I was having CBT up until recently when the sessions ended. They were okay at the time but because it was all online I felt a bit disconnected from it if that makes sense. I would have preferred face to face.

I know I can go back to my GP but I fear they're getting sick of me.

Have a look at Tim Box’s YouTube video on health anxiety (and his others on anxiety) they should help you understand how to cope.

I think the issue is I know that I have anxiety and I know that the thoughts I have are probably irrational and I'm always convinced it's the worse possible thing it could be. But I can't shake the idea that there is something seriously wrong that has been missed. Especially since I've read so many stories of similar happening to people of my age.

I would suggest you see the mental health midwife as this anxiety is over the top.

My sister died of liver cancer this year, suddenly. Didnt know she had it. Her pain, of which it was very minimal, was more like a broken rib than your hurty shoulder.

With a positive fit test you should have had a colonoscopy... did you?

I've spoken to my normal midwife and she said they couldn't refer me to the mental health midwife as she was currently at capacity and as I've been doing better these past few weeks I hadn't thought to bring it back up.

No I haven't had a colonoscopy as I'm pregnant and they won't do one. I was told I could have a sigmoidscopy at 28 weeks if I was still bleeding but as I haven't bled since June the consultant doesn't think its necessary. He said he's more concerned about my anxiety than bowel cancer. In fact he flat our said that I don't have it despite doing no tests to back this up.

You need to go back to your GP or ask MW to refer you to the MH team. It’s the anxiety that needs dealing with here.

I'm going to try and speak to my GP again either tomorrow or Tuesday because I know I can't keep going on like this. So convinced that I'm dying that I'm no longer living.

I sugger with HA and have done for many, many years. It comes and goes and autumn and winter always seem to be the crescendo of my anxiety and perceived symptoms.
At the moment I too am convinced that I have cancer, I won't detail my supposed symptoms and the focus of my current anxieties because that won't be helpful to you.
What I will say is that over the previous two decades since I was a very young adult I have been convinced that I have had, variously; HIV, MS, ovarian ca, urethral/bladder ca, motor neurone disease, a glioblastoma, lymphoma, lung ca and probably a few more things besides.

It has ruined large chunks of my life when I should have been happily enjoying my babies/children, life in general.

Honestly OP you are overwhelmingly likely to be absolutely healthy and you know this logically but your mental health is unwilling to allow you to behave logically.

The only thing that helps me is to talk to myself as I would to a good friend. Literally explaining to myself out loud all of the logical reasons that I am not about to die and/or be gravely ill. Sometimes I write down my reassurances to myself and re read them when I feel anxiety taking over.
Finally I tell myself that they majority of people my age are living healthy and contented lives and that there is no reason that I should be any different to that majority. That I deserve to be well and to live a good life.

I hope that this helps you, and please stay away from Google. That way madness lies.
Try your very best to get a handle on this before it robs you of any enjoyment of your present circumstances because its bloody hard to enjoy the present when you are constantly worrying about a future scenario that has next to no chance of actually coming to pass.

Take care and enjoy your pregnancy as much as you can. You can't get this time back, don't allow anxiety to take it from you x

Reading this has really helped me to put things into perspective and I really, really appreciate it.

This is something that isn't just effecting me but is also making my partner miserable and I know that if I don't get a handle on it soon I'm just going to end up ruining both of our lives.

I'm so frustrated with myself because up until tonight I've been doing so much better with not googling and not catasphoizing every little ache and pain but for some reason I've just spiraled. I'll definitely be taking your advice and reminding myself that the likelihood is that I'm absolutely fine but I'll also be speaking to my GP to try and get some sort of help too.

Thanks again for your reply, it really has helped me to calm down.

No advice, but I am the exact same. Every ache and pain, I think is cancer or a heart attack. I hate it, then try to convince myself I’m over thinking. I hope you get help and try to enjoy your pregnancy.

Thank you, I hope you can get some help too. It's such a horrible thing to deal with, I honestly wouldn't wish it on anybody.

I’m the same. It’s utterly pointless and slowly ruining my life. I am in a bad way at the moment but know it will pass and I’ll be fine. But my anxiety thinks it’s knows better 😡

I can relate to this massively hence why I came across your thread. I’ve been struggling with health anxiety since the birth of my 3rd child. When it hits I feel ill, I was on fluoxetine 20mg for the past 4 weeks and i had managed to get to a stage where the episodes were few and far between rather than every night. Going to bed seemed to be my trigger and instantly I was running to the loo, vomiting, convinced I was having a heart attack etc and this would go on all night then I would be fine in the day and it would start again the next night. The meds had helped me manage to calm it all down until this week. Tuesday I woke feeling the exact same way and it didn’t leave me. I contacted my doctor straight away and she seen me. She doubled my does to 40mg to try and see if it helps. Yesterday was hellish again- felt so unwell and sicky but I can still function etc. then today I’ve felt like my normal self again. One thing I found out yesterday that helps me hugely is sooking on mints. Not sure why I tried it but I’ve not got them everywhere and it’s either a placebo effect or it’s actually helping me. I hope you can find something to help you soon as I know the feeling is crushing.

Have you come across Sheryl Paul’s work on anxiety? Health worries can be an easy thing for the mind to latch onto as a distraction from feeling other emotional pain. There’s often unaddressed grief underneath anxiety.

Right there with you.

At the moment my health anxiety is the worst it’s ever been. I’m currently convinced I have three different fatal issues.

Strangely enough, when I was pregnant I found my health anxiety vanished.

I, too, had CBT via video. Like you, it helped at the time but I feel my anxiety is too deep routed. I do think you should have another course now though as it definitely helps to talk it through with a therapist in the short term.

Still looking for a long term solution.

@Whathefisgoingon you might like Sheryl Paul’s approach too then as it’s based on Jungian depth psychology