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Struggling with intrusive thoughts and self harm

15 replies

Olimar · 01/10/2022 18:11

I have a lot of thoughts about other people being hurt or dying. The only way to stop them is by harming myself instead. When it's been this bad before I've ended up in hospital. I don't want that to happen again. But how do I make it stop otherwise? Can anyone help?

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Cinders88 · 02/10/2022 15:34

Hi! I’m sorry you’re feeling like this. Are your intrusive thoughts linked to OCD? I’ve experienced intrusive thoughts, believing that actions/compulsions that I carried out could stop people coming to harm. I knew deep down that it made no sense and I had no control over what happened to others, but the intrusive thoughts were relentless and I had to do these things “just incase”.

Basically, I may know a little about how you’re feeling, and want to let you know that it can get better. Do you have anyone you can go to for support? Although talking to people about your thoughts can be really hard, it can also be a release and help you to make sense of things. Can you speak to your GP about access to CBT or any other services?

I’d be happy to share more about my own experience if that would help you in any way, but it’s a little difficult to give any advice knowing so little about your situation. Although please know that it is possible to beat these thoughts and there is hope!

Olimar · 02/10/2022 18:20

Thanks for your reply @Cinders88 . I've spoken to someone about these thoughts before and she said they may be some type of OCD. Not the cleaning type though, I'm useless at that!

An example of what the thoughts are like: today while I was cooking, I get the thoughts come into my head that I'm going to stab someone with the knife. I can see myself doing it, even though it's the last thing I want to do. But I can't stop the thoughts entering my head until I hurt myself with the knife instead to stop it happening. Does that make any sense?

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Cinders88 · 02/10/2022 19:09

Yes, that makes total sense, and it can typically be a form of OCD. I’ve had many forms of OCD, and the earliest compulsions I can remember are in primary school. I’m now 34. I’m not sure if it’s anything you can get rid of totally, as in you may still have some OCD type tendencies, but it can certainly become manageable and far less stressful. I’m now at the point that I can put the “OCD thoughts” to the back of my mind and if there’s any anxiety it doesn’t last long. It’s a part of me but doesn’t rule me anymore.

Typically, OCD sufferers get so distressed about intrusive thoughts because they’re often polar opposite to things you’d actually do. You find the thought that you might stab someone so horrifying that you feel the need to counteract that thought with a compulsion to ensure it doesn’t happen. Then you feel better for a while, until it happens again, and again.

I used to have the constant worry that I’d say something completely inappropriate and disgusting, to the point where it felt these things were on the tip of my tongue, ready to come out. The thought of saying these things to people was so stressful, and I struggled to hold a conversation just incase I accidentally said it. I would have to repeat things I’d said over and over, just to make sure I’d said it right. I couldn’t focus on what anyone was saying to me. It was like trying to focus on two conversations at the same time while having a song playing and trying to listen to the words .. impossible to focus on what’s being said to you. It got to the point my husband and I text each other when we were sat in the same room because a conversation was just so much effort and distress. Luckily, I have a very understanding husband! In the end, I just had to slowly reduce the repeating and sit with the anxiety, which was very overwhelming at times, but after a while the anxiety got less. Once I learned the anxiety would go away after a while, I found it easier to stop repeating myself and the anxiety took less and less time to piss off.

If we were to use that logic, when you get these thoughts and want to carry out the compulsion to stop it, which in your case would be to hurt yourself, you would choose to sit through the anxiety instead. It sounds daunting, overwhelming, and it’s not easy .. but eventually when that anxiety does lesson and you repeat the process, it gets easier. The thoughts start to lose their power because they’re not winning anymore.

Do you have the support of any family members? Have you told any? Or any close friends? There are also medicines that could potentially help. I was on Sertaline for a while. I’m sorry if nothing I say helps, but your post hit a nerve with me and I wanted to let you know you’re not alone and you can certainly get better with the right tools!

Gettingbythanks · 02/10/2022 20:06

This might seem a bit odd, but have you ever tried closing your fist around an ice cube for as long as you can bear? Harm reduction. It does seem like a form of OCD.

MuggleMe · 02/10/2022 20:30

I was getting repeated intrusive thoughts about self harm and going on citalapram really put a stop to them.

Olimar · 02/10/2022 20:43

I'm already on sertraline and several other tablets as I have bipolar. I've tried the ice cube thing before too.

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Olimar · 04/10/2022 18:26

Really struggling today. The added anxiety that I will end up in hospital again isn't helping either.

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Cinders88 · 05/10/2022 10:58

Olimar · 04/10/2022 18:26

Really struggling today. The added anxiety that I will end up in hospital again isn't helping either.

Hi! How are you feeling today? Have you looked into talking therapies? Are you in the UK? There is a service near me that you can self refer to online .. there may be a service like that near you. Talking through your thought processes with someone else can help you to make sense of it all and be a starting point to feeling more able to cope.

Olimar · 05/10/2022 11:27

It's still really bad today. I ended up in A&E last night.

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Chocrock · 07/10/2022 14:32

So sorry to hear you are feeling worse. It does sound like a type of OCD called Pure O. Can you get CBT it is the most proven type of therapy for OCD

Olimar · 07/10/2022 18:57

I've been reading on the internet about OCD and it does sound like it a lot. My LP has now referred me to the Crisis team, who are seeing me daily. Tomorrow they want me to see their doctor at the hospital so I'm terrified they will try to keep me there.

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GhostedWife · 09/10/2022 09:42

Hi Olimar,

CMHT worker here 👋

First - a word of warning - the crisis team can be really crappy. They're extremely overrun and likely have burnout and secondary trauma from their jobs, so please don't take it personally if they're dismissive in any way.

What will likely happen next is you'll be discharged to the CMHT and they will call you to assess your needs. MAKE USE OF THIS. Talk about how things are as if you're talking about your worst days. Remember, we (CMHT workers) hear so many traumatic and distressing things that we become numb to reports of moderate to mild presentations. You need to emphasise how bad it can get and keep pushing and chasing if you don't hear back from them. Ask them for signposting to groups/community centres/free therapy charities etc.

For yourself, download some worksheets for OCD. I find worksheets help me feel like I've accomplished something and actually taken action to work towards fixing my distorted thinking rather than just reading about solutions. Speaking of reading, try to learn as much as you can about OCD, including the various different types of OCD. Learn what can cause OCD and what helps/worsens your symptoms. Join subreddits or Facebook groups for people with OCD. Here you can feel validated and learn amazing coping strategies. Knowledge is power and it helps you regain control of the distressing symptoms you're currently experiencing.

Finally, speak to your GP about starting fluoxetine. It helps with OCD cognitions a lot. From personal experience, it helped dramatically with obsessive thoughts and rituals.

Hope this helps 💓

Olimar · 09/10/2022 11:09

Hi @GhostedWife
Thanks for your reply. I will look into the work sheets you mentioned as I will do anything to make this stop. I've self harmed a lot recently, which I hate doing but have to do, to make the thoughts go away. The crisis team haven't been very helpful with that, mostly advising me to have a cup of tea and watch TV instead. If only it was that easy!
The doctor I saw yesterday did try to suggest I went into hospital but I refused. I've been in them before and hated being locked up. Being bored all day on the ward definitely wasn't helpful either. I think I self harmed more in hospital than at home too, as there was nothing to distract me from it in there.

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Torvean · 11/10/2022 04:56

I'm not sure where in the UK you are but a lot of NHS24 (111) now have a mental health option. It could be useful when you're struggling. It maybe self-care advice or talkingyo a MH professionsl.I've found the one in Scotland to be useful.

Olimar · 11/10/2022 19:20

I'm really not coping tonight. I've self harmed and I'm struggling not to take an overdose of my medication. I've spoken to the crisis team and it really hasn't helped.

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