Please help, I have no idea what I am experiencing

[Lilacbluewaters]

If anyone has experience similar please let me know, I feel so alone and I have no idea what is wrong with me.

about 5 years ago (yes that long!) I was ill and one night I went to sleep as normal and I woke up in the middle of the night just completely manic. I was scared, scared of myself and my thoughts which I had no idea what I was actually thinking but I was so scared. I wanted to go outside for air. I was crying, just in a very flustered state not being able to process anything normally.

i was taken to a&e that night and told I must have had a panic attack. Since that night I have had multiple of these episodes, they seem to be triggered when I am ill.
some are worse than others. I lived in a third floor flat once when I experienced one and I tried to climb out the window.
recently I was having an episode and again l tried to climb out of my daughters bedroom window, I live in a house now. I just want to add that I know in my normal state that is so dangerous and I would never dream of doing that. But when I have these episodes my brain can not think straight, it’s like thoughts are shooting around my brain but I can’t access what they are? Something tells me to jump out the window and in that panic I just try and do it. I’m scared that I will one day, but I have my partner who is aware and obviously pulls me away.
I don’t feel this is just a panic attack but I have no idea what it could be.
last night I woke up at 5am in that panic but just before I lost control, so I could still control my thoughts at this point and it took about an hour for me to return to my normal head space and go back to sleep. When I experience these episodes it leaves me
feeling out of it, the energy is sucked from me and I can hardly get the energy to talk or move.
i get so scared to go to sleep, I put it off which is making me feel even more tired.
sometimes during the day I can hear people talking in my head, just having conversations going about their lives. I have been to see my gp as I couldnt cope and I have been referred to iapt. I was offered sertraline but I’m too scared to take it as it can make you worse at first.

has anyone experienced anything similar? Are these what panic attacks are like?

So sorry you’re having to deal with these episodes 💐

The trying to escape through a window is worrying and I’m not sure that would be part of a general panic attack. When you say something makes you want to do it, can you explain that further? So there is no voice telling you to do it, more just an urge?

Have you told the Doctor about hearing conversations in your mind?

Once you get to the bottom of what this is, you’ll be able to get treatment tailored to it and will feel relief, I’m hoping your referral is a fast track one.

Classic panic attacks, triggered by your body temperature dropping at night. Eat something carby before bed. Lock your windows and put the key away downstairs. Take the Sertraline, it really will help.