A quick question about a possible symptom of depression?

[tobytronicstereophonic]

I have had long bouts of depression since 1986. I noticed that when I was/am at my worst, I realised that I didn't have a 'song' in my head when I first woke up. It took a long time to realise this, but for myself, it is a profound indication of just where my mind is at
So, a serious question, do other people with major depressive disorders find the same?
I've written to a few medical research institutes over the last few years. I did get one reply from a university in Canada, expressing some interest in this. Thank you for reading.

*put it in a spare cage

I find this baffling, so the people saying they usually have headmusic or songs in their head is this like your own personal score like a character in a film? Like Darth Vader comes in and it’s duuun dun da-dun. Or are they top 40 songs on some sort of playlist in your mind?

I have never had music in my head. When I’m really depressed I have no thoughts and I have blackouts where I lose time.

Pre-existing music for me. Most of the time, every day, unless I'm listening to real music, usually — though not as intense when I'm feeling well as it is when I'm hypomanic. There's a few specific tunes that recur — some which many people would recognise but which don't have well-known names, like the Battle Hymn of the Republic with one set of lyrics or another, or the Clog Dance from La Fille Mal Gardée, or hymns and carols, or things like Oh My Darling Clementine (my mum's had that one stuck in her head on a weekly basis for about sixty years), or certain pop songs, or just… any old random song or tune that I probably happened to associate with a word I probably overheard earlier that day but don't remember hearing so I have no idea why the song is in my head.

One time, during a hypomanic episode, it was solely the line "I'm walking on sunshine, whoa-oh", mentally sung over and over and over and over and over again, an incessant loop, never ever resolving into "And don't it feel good" but just repeating "I'm walking on sunshine, whoa-oh", for hours, for days on end, and if it ever went for a little while to be replaced by something equally crappy, at the slightest provocation it'd come back. I remember screaming as I tried to go to sleep that "I'm walking on sunshine" wouldn't stop, it was too strong, I couldn't think, and I was going to go insane. Not fun.

@FurryDandelionSeekingMissile
No, I agree that cannot be fun. Thank you for explaining how your head music is in such detail.

No problem! I can't imagine how it must feel to not have it — out of interest, if you try to, can you choose to mentally sing a song or hear a tune in your head?

I can choose to sing a song, but it’s my voice in my head singing it off-key and accapella. There’s no accompaniment of instruments nor is it like remembering a tune as I heard it & replaying it in my mind- so no to the second as can’t choose to hear a tune in my head.

It seems unfair to be off-key even inside your own mind 🤣

It's funny how wide-ranging human mental experience is. I slightly envy your absence of involuntary headmusic, but I'd miss having the ability to imagine music if I wanted to.

Yes, amazing how different we all are, I was just thinking about how this hearing music in one’s head might be similar to or correlated how some people can’t dream in colour?

Oh here's an example of how it works for me.

DP was just watching a YouTube video in which someone's phone happened to ring with a repeating sequence of three beeps, that reminded me of part of the intro to Abba's "Money, Money, Money".

Ten minutes later, I suddenly realise that, in the background, my head's going "In my dreams I have a plan, if I got me a wealthy man…" with full instrumentation and all the bridges and twiddly bits 🙄

I've had depression for years, it's usually well controlled with medication.

One of the signs that I am not doing so well is losing the music in my head. I always have music playing in the background of my mind, different music depending on my mood. When I lose that, I know I need to see my doctor.

It's not just on waking though, it's constant, like a mental soundtrack.

Wow. That’s kind of like having a photographic memory only for music to remember and “hear” it in such detail.

Could be Discovereads — I was also reminded of aphantasia, where people are unable to mentally see imagery — I would guess that that's only a tiny part of it and we're all different in whether/how/how strongly we can imagine things visually, and whether mental images come to us unbidden.

I think it might be quite common to hear music in this way in your head? But I think it's one of those things where it's never going to be possible for us all really to know each other's worlds.

Off topic I know, but a new medium sized H/H has just shown up. That makes six! One has taken up residence in one of those rustic homes for H/Hs you can buy at Home Bargains.

Somebody said aloud in my general direction ‘I need to keep moving’ earlier, which triggered an hour or so of the song ‘Moving’ by Supergrass

(the second half of my post vanished!)

… playing in my head. The tiniest thing will set a different song off. I’ve never noticed the headmusic thing first thing in the morning though.

Are they not intrusive thoughts? Google it. I get terrible ear worms when my MH is not good.

I'm a diagnosed depressive, also have GAD and psychosis. 51, was first diagnosed at 14.

I always wake up with an earworm song or tune! Every day, it's so annoying! I go to sleep with one too.

Probably doesn't help with your theory but I am a crazy person. I shan't share my 'current tune' because none of you will sleep either!

I’ve never had a head song, depressed or not. I have constant head talk though, I just assumed that’s what everybody else has.

I have the constant headtalk too. When I was about ten, I remember telling my dad that I was a genius, because my mind is thinking/talking all of the time.
I am not a genius. Though my dad was.
There recent & novel research about headtalk. I think it's named 'internal narrative' but I'm not going to Google it, because it will start the intrusive version of the 'internal narrative' in my mind and I won't sleep. Again :-)
That's interesting that you don't have any head music.

[By the way, English is not my first language, so I am sorry if I seem abrupt or odd in my responses. It is not intentional. Also, I don't normally do social media so am not au fait with the conventions of it.]

Just before I fully wake up - prior to when the brain-orchestra begins - I often find my mind is reading a magazine article. It's fine-grained and has excellent clarity.

I also have 'Exploding Head Syndrome' and although it is frequently quite scary, on balance, I am glad it's there. The crisp clarity of those brief loud noises/voices is so very other-worldly beautiful.

I am beginning to sound (my EHS was diagnosed as hypopituitarism) like a hyperchondriac. Once again, thank you for the replies. Maybe an Exploding Head Syndrome would be another thread for another day.
Thank you.

Well, you might as well divulge the tune as I'm up in three hours, so it won't make a difference. I was going to guess the tune. Is it from a TV advert?
My partner has GAD too and calls it the 'DOOM'. Thanks x

You seem to have a very noisy head in general, whether exploding or otherwise, toby 😆

Your responses seem perfectly non-abrupt and non-odd to me, by the way.

@tobytronicstereophonic Cheerleader

You're welcome! 😆

The 'DOOM'...perfect description btw!