How do I learn to not hate myself?

[Inkdrinker]

Hi all,

I really struggle with the way I feel about myself. Physically, I hate everything but it goes deeper than that. I absolutely hate everything about myself, my personality isn't any good. I speak too much, I interrupt people too much, I'm too selfish, I'm really standoffish - some of this is due to my autism but a lot of this is just me being a rubbish person.

I've achieved nothing amazing, I can barely function at the best of times. I don't have any useful skills. I don't think I'm kind, I so care a lot but I struggle to show this as I'm not good with showing emotion to others. I'm lazy, I'm just all round a boring person with nothing to offer the world but it gets so exhausting hating yourself every day. I wish I could at the very least find something good about myself and genuinely believe it, but I don't know how.

Sometimes I feel like it would have been better if I died as I offer nothing to anyone. I'm just a drain on everyone.

A lot of what you say resonates.

I can't help but hopefully this will bump it for someone who can.

It's a cliche but cliches are often true - how was your childhood? The way we view ourselves is in most part set in the period between the ages of 3/4 to around 10, before we are able to make rational choices. Have a look at this guide to core beliefs and how we can change them.

I would agree that this will probably stem from your childhood, so how about considering for a mo that you were 'blessed' with this way of seeing yourself by your childhood environment, therefore it has been hardwired into your thoughts but it isn't actually who you are and it can be changed. But it will take a lot of work. If you are actively suicidal you must seek immediate support but otherwise can you reach out to a therapist, go to your gp, start reading about how to love yourself. I remember hearing that a good way to start the day is to say to yourself 'I am worthy, I am enough' when you wake up. How about starting with this? Even if you disagree, keep saying it, every day.

It might sound stupid, but I've started being my best friend. I would never criticize my friend, I would never tell them they are ugly, useless, boring etc. I've started telling myself all the good things I was supposed to hear as a child, but I never did and the hate is slowly fading away.

@Lotusflower16 - not stupid at ALL, it's a strategy many more people should adopt!