Teenager hugely affects my mental health

[RomeoRomeo1]

Does anyone else find it hard to not let their whole emotions be controlled by their teenager? She is so emotional and I find it so hard to not let everything about my life be affected by her. She changes the mood of the whole house. I know it’s “normal” for her to be horrid to everyone at her age, but how do you separate yourself out from it? I’m anxious all the time about how things are for her as I know it will massively affect all of us, especially me. We are close and I want to support her but it’s taking it’s toll on me being such an emotional punching bag. How do people do it?

No advice but I am feeling exactly the same. DD is 14 and can be lovely but as soon as things are not going precisely her way, she’s horrid. Like you say her mood affects everyone in the house and I’m walking on eggshells around her. If a man was behaving like this we would say LTB. I cling to the hope that it will pass.

I know this sounds glib but could you find time to meditate every day. Once you've been at it a while you come out of it calm and anxiety low. I do 40 mins.

Same here have a just turned 15 Yr old son, who has been absolutely awful since 14, and feel like we all walk on eggshells around him and his moods. He has pushed and pushed and just got worse. I'm trying to limit my contact with him to the bare minimum atm. As he is affecting me too. If he volunteers to come down stairs and sit with us that's fine otherwise I leave him in his room.

Same here. 17 year old walking around with a miserable face, stays in room most of the time.. Won't see friends.Think they've given up asking him to things althou he was put out at somethings they've been doing at the same time doesn't want to hang with them! Had a conversation this morning where everything I suggest is not a solution. Says he feels either exhausted sad or angry. Won't go to gp or counselling. Says finds it exhausting talking to people. Says doesn't have ambitions like other people. Says would be happy to live in a hole. He sometimes says he thinks he's autistic or has a personality disorder and is almost now behaving in a way to try to fit into that box by doing odd things. Nothing adds up as his behaviour isn't consistent. I blame the internet for that part.

It gets me down and is exhausting
I keep thinking that it's my fault. It's hard to help someone that won't accept help. Just said that he wishes euthanasia was legally an option. I don't think that he will do anything but other than having him sectioned what do I do? Sorry didn't mean to jump on your thread OP. Just wanted to explain how I understand how you're feeling. I think I've just got to the point where I've almost let go as I can't help him. I could truly put my head in the head in the oven as the bleakness and helplessness is hard to cope with. In answer to your question at times I have to blank it out so that I can try to remain strong and not crumble. Tbh I feel useless though so how being strong is doing anything I don't know. The poster that suggested meditation isn' such aa bad idea if it can give you respite from it.

I feel my situation is only going to get worse. With girls maybe once their hormones settle down it gets easier? and so I'd hang onto to that if I was you, that's it temporary and you'll both come out of the other side?

I’m struggling with my 16 year old DS. He’s always been contrary but it’s unbearable at the moment. Feel ill today as we had a huge argument before bed. Last night he said he couldn’t wait to leave home. I was childish and said I couldn’t wait either!

15 year old DD has always been difficult and sought negative attention despite receiving positive attention and having a loving, kind family.
It's exasperating now. The laziness and attitude. Ungrateful and selfish.
I go between coping and not coping too well. I find if I can not engage emotionally, give the consequences to actions calmly, and then end the conversation that's the best way to stay sain but when the bickering nasty tone is constant it's hard to maintain.
I have faith (because I just have to) that the real her will reappear one day and we can look back on this time and perhaps laugh at it.

You are not alone!

*sane

Dammit

Well, I wonder if some of it is her reflecting your mood also? Me and DS can end up amplifying each other as we are a similar temperament.

And snap to this situation.
I feel so guilty afterwards if I bite back.

Looks like we're all a bit soft for fear of upsetting them. I'm also guilty of this.

It’s at least nice to know that lots feel the same. 😫