Any experience of DID and autism?

[CandyLeBonBon]

Looking for support, ideas, handhold advice or anything else useful that anyone can offer who might be in a similar position- I did post elsewhere on the site but it's tumbleweed!

My eldest ds is 20. ASD/adhd, depression and ptsd due to bullying, suicide attempt 4 years ago, and over the past two years his condition/outlook/capacity to cope/world has got worse/ smaller and he is now talking to me about having dissociative episodes with 2 specific 'mindsets' (his words). He's now 'stuck' in mindset 2, and it's like living with a stranger.

I've involved mental healthcare services and I'm hoping that I can get him some support but I'm struggling so much.

Their dad has washed his hands of them so it's all on me. I have 2 younger teens, 13 and 17, a full time job and I'm on my knees. My own mental health is not great and I feel so buckled by it all. Has anyone got any wise words of wisdom?

Your situation sounds really difficult. It sounds like your sons difficulties are related to ASD which might mean that social work could get involved. Arguably his mental health problems stem from living without adaptations to his disability which they should address.

Are there any carers groups in your area? they are a total goldmine of information, support, empathy and advocacy. Just knowing you are not alone in this might help.

I don't know tbh. I am sagging under the weight of full time work and parenthood. I know I should find other support. I'm just utterly exhausted and dealing with my support/pip/UC/getting him to and from therapy etc on top of stuff for my other kids is just threatening to sink me, tbh.

But Thankyou for replying. It's been a difficult day x

The system is really shit and I sometimes wonder if it's deliberately so to dissuade people from applying. Absolutely the last thing you need when you have so much on your plate already.
It sounds like too much for one person to cope with and tbh if services think that they might end up with responsibility for your son, they will be motivated to act to support you. That may sound brutal and I'm not suggesting that from a cynical perspective at all- anyone would be floundering and most people would have been sunk by less.
It may be that your son's disability has 'caught up' with him in that it has become more evident and impactful as his peers have moved on and his capacity to find his place and feel purposeful has stalled. How he gets 'unstuck' is likely to need specialised input to work out what the environment is that he needs to be functional and to meet his needs. Short of being an OT/Psychologist/Social worker there is no way you could be expected to know what this is.
Please, speak to SW, tell them how much your son has declined and the impact that this is having on you and your children. Tell them what you think the outcomes will be longer term if things do not change. Upsetting I know but probably necessary.

Thank you @DaftWeeBun - he was supposed to finish a levels in 2020 but tjat was cancelled. He's declined significantly in the past 2 years. The past 2 months more so and the past 2 weeks markedly and worryingly worse. We had the duty MH practitioner round on Friday. He's since disclosed other stuff that has raised safeguarding concerns so I have to tell MH services tomorrow to escalate but he's terrified they'll take him away. He's become more and more reliant on me as time has passed. He's aware that he's declined but doesn't know what to do. I think he's had years of masking, then Covid hit and he didn't have to any more (as much at least) and as you say, the weight of his asd has fully hit home as his peers move onwards and upwards.

There's lots of reasons he may be dissociating. I have said this to him. He needs specialist, caring and experienced support to help unravel what is going on. I am so worried I'm going to lose him.

My brother took his own life at the end of 2020. He was very like him. I think the comparison has lodged in his head a bit.

But thanks again. It's so so hard to deal with.

Hi I have DID and most probably autism. I can't really offer you any advice, but I can point you to an YouTube channel called Autistic Selves. The owner has DID and autism so some of the things there might help.