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[mampam]

I'm so anxious all the time, thoughts in my head are spinning round and round, I don't even know if this is going to make any sense.

I'm really anxious all the time and suffer from panic attacks. I convince myself everyday that I'm dying of cancer. I'm overweight and as a result of this suffer from alot of aches and pains which just adds to my anxiety.

I dread feeling ill or even catching a cold because I know that I'll convince myself I'm suffering from something far worse than I actually am. I've now started to worry about my dc's and dh becoming ill, I find myself looking for rashes or bruises on them.

I do have genuine health issues but I don't feel my GP takes me seriously because she knows about my fear of being ill etc. She won't give me anti depressents and has referred me for counselling which I cannot have because it is only offered on 1 day of the week which happens to be one of the days I work so I can't go.

I'm now at my wits end. The panic attacks are taking over my life. I want to feel normal again, just wake up and not have a battle on my hands. I want to cry but if I do I know I'll never stop.

Is there any hope for me or is this just something I'll have to put up with for the rest of my life??

There is hope

Sorry you feel so bad atm.

Your GP doesn't sound that helpful, tbh. I would consider seeing someone else. Don't be afraid to express how you really feel... explain about the panic attacks, how debilitating they are, how your health anxiety is spilling over onto your family, how you feel low etc. Acknowledge that you are anxious about your health, but that this is developing into something more serious now.

A GP may offer anti-depressants. The may or may not be helpful... but if I were you I would give them a go. I would also press further for counselling (OCD specific, or Cognitive therapy).

Good luck!

GP has told me she can't offer me CBT because there's no one in the area that does it (I live in a very rural area).

I feel like if I ask to see a different GP that they might look at my notes and think I'm just trying my luck with someone else.

I'm probably my own worst enemy because I'll sit in the outside the surgery and cry before I go in and when I see GP just put on a big front and make a joke of it. I'm actually screaming inside but I can't express myself.

Nobody except dh and GP know about any of this.

Ok... I think you've got to be brave and really honest with your GP.

Could you take dh with you for moral support? Maybe he could give the GP some insight into how you are at home?

She may be able to refer you to the local mental health team who have psychiatrists, mental health nurses who specialise in this field.

Ah bless you.

You are me two years ago. I was EXACTLY the same after ds was born. Absolutely convinced I had cancer or some awful illness. I had lots of aches and pains all the time.

Have to say taking citalopram was an absolute life saver for me. Took it for a year and am now anxiety free.

I was just like you in that I always put on a front at the doctors too.

Go back to your GP and see what they say.

(Took me two weeks from having the pills to taking them - lets face it the list of side effects doesn't exactly reassure you when you're a raging bag of anxiety about your health and dying!)

I've taken Citalopram before after my ds was born and I had anxiety, but nowhere as bad as it is now.

I've moved and have had to change dr's surgeries from the one who prescribed me them before. GP before told me to take AD's home and immediately take out the leaflets and give them straight to my dh without reading them, which I did and it was fine.

I really feel like I need AD's again because it has gone on for longer than before and I feel 10 times worse than before too. I don't think I'm going to be able to dig myself out of this black hole on my own.

If you've suffered with anxiety and depression in the past and Citalopram helped, then I'd say Get Thee To The Surgery!

You're right, you can't do this on your own. And why should you? If you'd slipped a disc and were bed bound you'd need help... this is no different

I know you are right but I just can't help feeling like a pathetic time waster. Is the GP really going to pay any attention to me unless I sit there and cry? If I did sit there and do that then I think they might have to take me out in a straight jacket and cart me to the nearest mental hospital.

I'm so pathetic I know, I'm even frightened of going to the Dr's surgery and sitting in the waiting room. I hate it.

I know I've got to go, I know I've got to face this, but I also know I'll put it off for as long as possible. God I am pathetic.

Your not a time waster you are ILL so get to the doctors tell them that you've taken citalopram before for anxiety and that you are suffering again but muc much worse and would like to try the AD's again.

A patient who recognises her problem and wants too take appropriate treatment = DEFFO not a time waster!!!

Make the appointment. I wasted a year of my life with endless DR's appointments refusing to take AD's I kick myself for all hose days lost where I could have started to feel better.

Mampam - did you make that appontment yet?