Empty nest grief

[Hells53]

Hi, my youngest went to uni a week ago and it's hit me so much more badly than I expected, it feels like full on grief. Crying at the drop of a hat, feeling anxious/panicky and it's only been 7 days. Starting a new job in two weeks, so that doesn't help. Read lots about keeping busy, setting times to speak to them, taking up new hobbies etc but any other tips or just some reassurance would be massively appreciated, as at the moment it feels like this feeling is set in forever.

I think you need to acknowledge that this is a real milestone and it is ok to feel the way you do. It still astonishes me how quickly the time of rearing children went. I thought it would go on forever and then suddenly it was over You will feel better and you will eventually enjoy being on your own but it takes a bit of time. be kind to yourself.

I've posted this before - I think it really resonates.
www.bostonglobe.com/metro/globelocal/2018/08/24/was-sun-and-they-were-planets/0F0IDOwhEszKLj7rqUZOuN/story.html

Hi,
This was me last year. Absolutely floored and felt like grief. I also wasn't expecting it.
The only thing that stopped it was arranging a visit. They'd left some things behind and asked me to bring it to them at uni. It stopped the pain.
Also, don't take any notice of people who belittle these feelings. They are very real.
It will pass.

Thanks for this. I know I'll feel better at some point (I've got through bereavements) but it's the "eventually" that terrifies me.

Oh my god that article made me cry 😢😢

I was much happier once my son had come back at Christmas and I knew he was happy at Uni.
The new job is a positive. Something to be a fresh start and distraction.

You need something to work towards. Maybe make an early start on Christmas to keep you busy and looking forwards.

I can completely relate to this. My ds has boarded , travelled for 6 months so I felt entirely chilled- until Friday afternoon when it felt like such a
Momentous watershed moment! I had a waxing appt and sobbed through it held it together broadly for whole drop off bit yesterday . But frankly have hit bottle tonight

It shall pass but feel very discombobulated

This was me 2 years ago, I'm hearing you, it's an awful feeling but it WILL get better. It's a huge step feeling feeling like one minute you are looking after your child and the next minute you're not. You have no warning of how you are going to feel, absolutely none. When I walked into my Dd's bedroom the morning she was moving to uni, she was asleep in bed sicking her thumb. That was a killer. You are not on your own @Hells53 , sending you good wishes and thoughts. It helps to visit if possible and know they are settling, sorry I've nothing else to offer.

Sucking not sicking!

This will be me next year when my youngest goes to uni. I'm dreading it as we are so close. Sending you love as I don't have answers!

Well, this still sucks! My son going back for second year today. Drop off day, the absolute worst. I just need to get through this day. Feel so low again. I must remember to heed all the empty nest advice that I give to other parents lol!

Hello everyone

I'm soon to be 60 -a big milestone birthday. Aside from that there's so many adjustments I'm having to come to terms with too. I've lost both parents within a couple of years. Marriage problems hit us and we separated for awhile but we are getting back on track. Our last child has left home and everything just seems pointless. I've had over 35 years of child rearing being a stay at home mum for years. I've been in my job many years now and am fortunate to be able to drop to PT. We have no mortgage or money worries. I know I'm fortunate in many ways. Does anyone else feel like there's no point to anything at this stage of your life? I don't mean to sound ungrateful I'm really struggling with anxiety lack of sleep and just feeling hopeless. I'm post menopausal so I'm well past all that. Please be kind.

Start your own thread. People are just going to reply to the OP.

Who is probably feeling a bit better now..

Thanks- just realised I've put this in the wrong place