No one to help

[purpleme12]

I've been feeling really down.
And crying.
And so alone.
And anxious

I was referred to talking therapies. I felt hopeful. That someone would help me. I would feel less alone.
But because I didn't score highly enough on their depression questionnaire whatever it is cos I've always had to keep going I just just offered some online things to do myself.
Yes I'm managing the basic things in looking after myself. Cos I have to.
I'm disappointed. I'm still crying. I can't afford therapy myself

The online stuff can be really helpful. Have you an actual diagnosis? Are you on any medication? You can call the Samaritans for a chat.

Look for self help books to read, some of them are excellent

It's hard to find the strength.

No I don't have a diagnosis. I haven't been to see the doctor.

Maybe I will ring Samaritans

I didn't want to feel so alone

Sending you lots of love purple, yes do ring the Samaritans. You are not alone. There's lots of women on this board who understand you and care about you.

Finding the strength can be hard and it's so good that you manage to look after yourself and do the basic things. Keep doing that, we're sending you more strength.

Have you got anyone irl to talk to as well?

If you haven’t seen the doctor then I would start there. Who referred you to talking therapy though?
You deserve to feel well. For me I needed medication before I could face talking or CBT.

Thank you.

No I don't have anyone to talk to in real life. Everyone hates me. I'm a disgusting person

The only reason I've got for living is my child. And I'm terrified of losing her.

I was referred through social services. Because the neighbours have been harassing us for a year. Trying to imply you know what about my child.

My child is all I've got in this life.
And I'm scared one day she'll go to live with her dad who hates me and I'll have no one

Everyone hates me.

I don't hate you. I want to give you a huge hug.

I'm a disgusting person

No, you're not. You're in pain. Your child loves you and needs you so please get the help you need to be the best mum you can be.

How old is your child op? If under 5 you could get a Homestart volunteer for some support plus they can offer talking therapies too.

if your child is older perhaps social services can refer you again for some more help?

it’s awful to feel so wretched I know. But things will get better for you. You need to keep going forward. I hope you feel better soon.