pnd or just feeling sorry for myself?

[mellam]

Hi, I don't know where to start really but i'll try to keep it short and simple. My LO is now 1 year, and I haven't been feeling like myself for a while. Everything was OK for a few months after having him (except failing to breastfeed, which left me a nervous wreck and crying for a week). Then about 2 months later I sort of began to change. I cry at anything and everything for no reason. I loose my temper over stupid tiny things and really loose it, normally I let everything go over my head and it takes a lot to wind me up. I get this weird feeling like electricity is raging through my body and I'm going to explode, it just comes out of nowhere (sorry nearest thing I can decsribe to how it feels), I have absolutely no interest in sex, which is tearing me and DH apart. Sometimes, quite often if i'm honest, I feel really guilty as I just can't be bothered with my LO and he ends up just playing on his own, and I lay on the setee and wrap myself in a blanket. I'm always tired, no matter how much sleep I get, although my LO still frequently wakes at night. Sometimes when I go to sleep I don't care if I wake up or not. I feel like I need to kick myself up the bum and get on with things but I can't help thinking that somethings wrong with me. I did the edinburgh test online and got 18, thats not really high though is it?

Go and see your GP, sounds like PND to me, I get the not wanting to do anything and jsut losing it for no reason, it's like if you don't scream and shout for 5 mins you will explode, only problem is you don't notice it yourself until it is quite far on, your GP will be very helpful. Could also talk to HV they have a lot of experience of PND and new mum stuff.

Hi Mellam, I have 2 DS's the eldest is 4 and I had mild PND with him, after the birth of DS2 who is now 18mths I was fine and have been fine up until about a month ago when I started to feel like things are getting on top of me.
Like you I am losing my temper very quickly and often feel like my heart is going to explode out of my chest. I find that I have very little interest in wanting to play with DS's I am soooo tired even after a good nights sleep. I am worried to call this PND but I suspect it might be, although only mild.
With DS1 my overiding feeling was sadness and I had what I call my Black Friday when I really thought I was going to walk away from it all, but after opening my heart to DH & a friend who just happened to call that day I took positive steps. I visited the GP & spoke with the HV. I was brutally honest about how I was feeling (wanted to give DS1 up for adoption ) I was prescribed anti-depressants but choose not to take them, but I did other things to combat those sad feelings. Everyday I walked (miles!) I started to eat more healthily, I logged on to Mumsnet and took time out for me when DH got home. Slowly but surely I started to feel better.
I know this is what I have to do again but like you I need that kick up the backside to get going.
Talk to your DH, call the HV is the morning and if it's a nice day go for a walk.
I think PND can creep up on you as late as 2yrs post birth, don't worry it will get better. Perhaps having been through this with DS1 I know the dark cloud WILL lift but when you're going through it it can be soul destroying. Keep posting on this site, I gained lots of valuable advice and support from all the mums.
I'm sending you a kick up the backside right now!

Sorry you are feeling so bad.
I would go to see your GP. It could be depression - in which case you have options. You could take ADs (which helped me), or you could be given counselling. Exercise is always helpful, just like wellsie said. Remember, whether or not you have depression, you DO deserve some help.

Keep posting.

sounds like pnd to me too. something must have made you suspect it to start the thread, and well done for doing it. All of the things you describe are pretty much like some version of depresion, but to me the difference between pnd and the 'normal' depression is the mood-swing thing - i am usually a calm person with tons and tons of patience but when pnd struck i threw screaming hormonal-style tantrums for minimal reasons. I'm getting sorted, DD is just 2 and i am soooo impatient to get "fixed" now. Had a crap and grumpy day today (for no particular reason) but the majority of the time i am ok now, though still on the meds. If they suggest medication, then seriously consider it, I for one needed the AD's to give me a lift to want to do something to help myself out of it.
Good luck, keep posting cos there are plenty of us here who have similar experiences

ok, 'just feeling sorry for yourself' is not whats happening here. even if you were, its impacting your life pretty badly and if it were something you could 'snap out of ' all that easily, you prob would have done by now, right?

try to be kinder to yourself. you dont need a label, a 'recognised reason' for feeling shitty (it doesnt have to be deemed PND or anything else by anyone in order for you to be 'allowed' to be having trouble)
so, if you dont feel comfy with a label, just say that; im having a hard time right now, and i think i need a bit of help to get round it.

do you think that might feel better? it would be both brave and clever of you to recognise you are having a tough time and ask for help. what that help is, youll find out as you go. but first step is asking.

good luck

(love the new name Happies)
Well said . labels optional. they help some of us, not others. Just look after you.

[preen]
well i like the name gigglewitch v much too, so there you go

could also be thyroid? defo go to the docs.