I've had a few health concerns lately which landed me in a & e over the weekend. I was discharged as they didn't find very much - a small trace of blood in urine and some inflammation. I have really bad back pain and the day before I had an ultrasound and am quite sure they didn't find anything significant except a fibroid-- except I have no idea why my mental health has kiltered off into orbit somewhere. The health anxiety I'm having has created an alter ego. It's horrible and I feel like I'm spiralling. Despite the dr saying they haven't found anything, I'm still like 'what if' it's honestly exhausting.
I've had a lot of stress lately, my work has been insane, my cat has been unwell and I've also just started a college course. My stomach is in knots and I'm feeling so very lonely. My parents died during lockdown, I don't have any siblings and my only family member is a fair journey away. Everything is doom and gloom right now for me and I have no idea how to pull myself out of it. I'm not sleeping and wake up in a panic.
When I was younger I suffered with depersonalisation and derealisation and I've not had it in years, though yesterday it happened to me and it panicked me so much.
I have a therapist, I talk through these things but there is just not something quite right happening in my head at the moment. I don't know if this is a form of grief coming back. Anyone else struggling at the moment ? It would be nice to chat.