Difficulty to concentrate - how much of an issue is it for you?

[NoNeatFreakHere]

In my late 30s and I find it increasingly difficult to concentrate on stuff - whether it is conversations that last forever and perhaps I am not interested, remembering stuff - what on earth did I intend to do just now? -, starting one thing, jumping onto something else and then ending up with 10 things half done. I know many mums talk about similar feelings. What's normal for you?

Some aggravating factors I observe:
The long to do list, growing but the second in the back of my mind.
General stress about stuff / life.
DCs and DH constantly talking all at the same time, always needing attention or something different.
Sleep - I always wish there was time for more. DCs wake up on the odd night (say once a week). The only time available I find for chores is after their bedtime and before mine...

I can totally relate. I have 2DCs aged 2 and 4. I do the majority of the daily kid care. There's just always someone talking at me or needing something. It's always short term problems (i need water, where's my socks etc). I'm freelance and on the rare occasions i get to sit down and do my job i find it so hard to switch gears and complete a task from beginning to end. It is incredibly frustrating.

I suppose its training really. So I'm trying to read more, meditate, complete medium length tasks withiut interruption (this is almost impossible with my kids).

So no real help im afraid, but i relate.

Can totally relate too. I have multiple lists of things I remember to do and then end up forgetting or getting them done last minute as I'm constantly interrupted or distracted. I work from home so find it hard to completely switch off to just work. I don't think wfh helps but I also worry I have some kind of short attention span. You're not alone though.

Massive. I am on ritalin and it makes little difference. It's not that I can't concentrate, but I can't control what I concentrate on.

I have the attention span of a gnat.

I hate it.

@Metabigot - I hear you and thanks for responding. Not sure what to say rather than a big hug.

You are also phrasing it right - it's the what I am concentrating on. I can totally do it for certain things. But also feel it wasn't always like this and where / why did it all just change? Is it just having kids and hormones versus normal age or something I always had but didn't notice... hey ho

i can relate. I read a thing about hormones exaggerating the effect of adhd- which is often undiagnosed in women. So premenstrually, in pregnancy, in peri and menopause -so which is all of us at some point. I will try to find it. Am definitely feeling like this again and did after birth of DCs. Forgetful and can’t retain focus even when I want to. Some hyper focus but very rarely on the thing I actually need to do..

This covers it: www.additudemag.com/women-hormones-and-adhd/

OMG this is me!

I feel like my concentration and also, perhaps my intelligence, is lesser than it used to be. I am also late 30s with small children and struggle to focus on a job, or even read a book. In my younger days I was a total book worm and pretty academic (think Oxbridge). Now I can barely get through a murder mystery on holiday let alone complete an in-depth task at work.

to add to the list of things to blame (and I do think sleep / mental load / hormones play a part) I think my mobile phone has a lot to answer for! I feel like I pick it up and scroll without really focusing - I think it trains you to skim the surface as well as distracting you from life!

Johann Hari is interesting on this - his book Stolen Focus. Eye opening how often our attention is distracted.

definitely think children are a factor - the number of times in a day they interrupt your focus to ask for something (which obv they need to do, but it takes it’s toll!)

and agree phones are a big big factor. Try putting it in a different room for stretches and see if it makes a difference to how you feel? I tend to feel calmer and more able to concentrate when I try that.

Try focusing on one thing at once too and do it to completion before you turn attention to the next thing - there’s no such thing as multi-tasking!

Massive. I'm mid fifties and these days I can barely read a post on a thread without going back and reading it several times. Same with a newspaper. I've always been unable to concentrate on people who tell long stories that I can't relate to IRL. I just glaze over. I'm not distracted by DC either. It's so frustrating.