Loneliness

[EmmaH2022]

Sucks hard

makes you do stupid things - or is that just me?

every time I think I'm learning to live with it, I'm not. Any tips? Can't get a cat at the mo.

Hi @EmmaH2022
Sorry that you are feeling lonely. Sending hugs.
There have been a worrying number of threads on here about loneliness, you are not the only one. I suggest you do a search on ‘lonely’ or ‘alone’ on here and see the various suggestions or even better, have a chat with the OPs on the other threads to see if you can support each other.
It can get better but it does take some effort and not everything you try will work, but keep at it and it will get better.

Thanks Whatever
I am on quite a lot of those threads

it does make me wonder if I am at fault when there are apparently so many lonely people around.

Just posting again on this
i feel absolutely cursed

i just tried to rejoin another forum I was on and it won't take my payment

it's like the universe is saying YOU MUST HAVE NO FRIENDS

and then sometimes I think I'm just asking for too much in my life

i've nearly made a total tit of myself going after a man this summer as well, and the other day I was looking at him and thinking, I don't actually find him attractive. I'm just lonely.

I'm going to a social thing tomorrow but there's no substitute for real friends who actually care about you and I still don't know how I lost them 😭

Hi Emma
Just wanted to say I feel exactly the same at the moment as a single parent and fresh out of a long term relationship. It sucks!
Lots of friends around who are there for me, but all very busy in their own lives with work/husbands/kids and I just feel so lost and alone. I take comfort in this time will pass.

shrinking sorry you feel similar
but it's good you have lots of friends around if you need them.

Just wanted to send virtual hugs.

I feel the same. Single mum. Disabled child.
I suffer from agoraphobia, yet I still feel incredibly lonely.

Where abouts are you based?

Invisiblewoman75 thank you, much needed. hugs back if you want them.

is anything helping the agoraphobia?

this is partly why I wonder if I just expect too much in life. I'm better on the anxiety front than I have been for years. So it's like the universe will give you something, but take away with the other hand.

I'm in London. I've got stuff to do, but no longer have anyone for whom I'm a priority. I really miss the daily chats, even just by message, that I used to have with friends.

hugs to you op. i feel this too single parent no family or friends. i do feel like if i didn't have to be here for the kids i wouldn't be

Sorry. Hugs too.
group hug?

I feel I ought to get used to being lonely but every time I think I've cracked it, it upsets me all over again.

group hug sounds good. and yes random things trigger it you think you are doing ok then wham it hits you and it hurts

you are not alone in being lonely OP. For me relationships with men are over, my family are cold as hell (always have been) and I also can't work due to various other MH issues.
At this age I've given up on making new actual friends. They just don't seem to stick and that may be my fault as much as anyone else's. I would love to be a nicer kinder person who never thought of herself.
It seems it is only possible to find acquaintances at this age. So I'm planning to get a dog and I also want to do some regular charitable things, not to make friends, because I don't want to hope for that and be disappointed. Just so there is some point to my life and also a bit of company.

btw my age is 49. I'm frankly terrified of getting really old if this is how lonely it feels to be middle aged.

I do find going for walks in nature helps, which isn't easy when you live in London but can be done.
however I find when I get back to the flat it all sort of closes over my head again.

Daughter I'm 46 and I get the impression there's a lot more likelihood of making friends at retirement age but that's a long wait.

the false hope thing is the worst, I think. I am in a couple of groups but you kind of have to be careful.

FWIW I regret having put myself out to help people, they end up trying to take the mick.

If anyone wants chat I'm up for that. We should start a club! I have friends but my close friend is moving away. I'm always trying to make friends but similarly it's just aqaunitences.

Sorry, you probably wanted a chat earlier and I didn't see this.

sorry you are in a similar boat.

I woke up feeling much better but it might be because I have my social thing tonight.

one thing I find an issue is that people seem to be very militant in their politics and to wear it on their sleeve, or T shirt! I don't discuss mine but if I feel they will disapprove in some way, it worries me.

Just wanted to say I am in the same boat. It sucks.

no such thing as the universe giivng or things happen for a reason. cruel and stupid philosophy.but lonely people getting together is important.

i am working on this.get offline more that is for sure