I don’t really know why I’m doing this but I can’t make sense of it.
my husband has depression, he had a breakdown a few years ago and has been on anti depressants since. He has tried to come off them before but it doesn’t work so goes back on them and all was fine.
when he’s having a bad time he obsesses over things, like my ex from before I met him etc, how many ppl I was with. We’re together over 20 years so I was a teenager when any of this happened.
sometimes it’s something else that he did years ago and he just obsesses about it.
2 months ago he came off his meds, it’s very hard to get a doctors appt and his prescription had run out, I got him an emergency one and he’s been getting better since but still not 100%
we like to have a few drinks at the weekend but he’s drinking more and more.
blew up a few weeks ago and I was a tramp
for being with someone before I’d even met him etc. he went to the doctor and she increased his dose and had a good chat with him, she thinks he may also be bi polar, he gets wreckless and out of control when drunk. the tablets kicked in and he was very sorry, Friday evening this started again, asking questions that he knows the answer to, kept getting me another drink like my answers would change.
yesterday he started drinking during the day, his heads wrecked and we had a row over it.
we have 2 children and I wasn’t happy with him drinking, he stormed off and disappeared for an hour.
same thing last night, he sat drinking and I went to bed. He was coming in and asking me questions, saying how he feels like nothing and can’t feel any emotion.
he wanted to have sex and I agreed because I thought it would help him, he started getting rough and I stopped him.
this morning one of the kids had his phone and he got a message from a friend of his who is known for being able to get Coke, that’s where he was last night.
I have known this man 20 years, I know everything about him, I can even tell his thoughts most of the time but this has floored me. I don’t know what to do, he says it was only this time but I suspected him before and he said he was taking more of his antidepressants to get himself right again.
I never thought that I would be afraid of him but I think I might be. None of his family know, I rang his brother the last time he was being awful but he was raging and wouldn’t go with him.
I can’t tell anyone else what’s going on in case it all blows over, he doesn’t want anyone knowing his business.
Sorry didn’t expect that to be so long but I’m going over and over it in my head and I need someone else to tell me