Im struggling. Really bad. I told my husband Decmeber 2nd 2020 that I wanted to leave. He's made that really hard for me and kept threatening suicide, with no money, I'm still stuck here. Our middle child is also displaying symptoms of ADHD and has become very aggressive. I had a breakdown and was really bad. I then got better and the 6 weeks holiday has broken me again. I stayed at my sisters for one night and felt OK to come home.
I am desperate to get out of this house, but I have zero options. I feel like I need to get away to get better for me and my children but there's nowhere to go...Today I woke up feeling a bit drunk, (dont drink, haven't taken anything, I believe it's an anxiety symptoms?) Me and my kids then tried to do a puzzle together. It was going well until my middle child became very aggressive over it and my stress levels rose. I am again feeling very spaced put and can't deal with the children talking to me. I feel like the worst mum ever. They deserve better. My husband is now with the kids whilst I'm in the bath.
How can I get better in this situation. I'm sure it's being stuck in a shitty house, with no money and no way out that's made me overwhelmed and my son behaviour has just pushed me over the edge. I am scared I will lose my mind completely and there will be no way back.
I will be calling my doctors tomorrow to discuss options but does anyone know what I can do?