Am I gaslighting myself?

[Isthislife7]

Hi, it’s been a rough year and my husband has been unemployed due to mental health. He was diagnosed a couple of months ago with bi polar and adhd. He’s been doing well these past month or so and has been on meds now for a few weeks. I know it’s all trial and error and everything won’t be smooth sailing but a couple of days ago he got in a mood about some paint on one of his jackets 🤦🏻‍♀️ And continued the mood for a couple of days (not talking to me, sulking in the bedroom, etc) I have to just get on with work, kids and house so don’t have much time for it (and also I’ve seen an awful lot of this the past year or so) yesterday I came home
from work and he went right out as soon as I got in. I noticed my car was gone. It had been off the road for a couple of Weeks but in my mind and had been communicated that we would wait until the kids were back at school to see exactly what was up with it. I messaged him to ask if he had done something with the car but no replies. He ended up coming home near midnight and telling me he scrapped the car for £100 and has spent it. I’m really upset but all the while I keep telling myself it was off the road anyway so maybe it’s not that bad but deep down I know it is. He was sneaky and deceived me deliberately for the money… I don’t know how to feel about
it anymore, I almost feel like
im reactionless after the last year.

He scrapped your car and spent the money? Fraud and theft. He is showing no respect or regard for you. His mental health problems don't trump your needs and rights. This would be the end of the road for me.

He scrapped your car and spent the money? Fraud and theft.

This ^

Sulking ... that's abuse.

What might you do about it ?

@FinallyHere inhave no idea. We’ve been together since we were 15 and have five children together. His sister says (who is also bipolar) it’s an episode starting of bipolar but I’ve been through so many things with him the last year, spending money, going missing and all sorts I don’t know if I can cope with anymore. And then I swing back to would I want my family to leave me if I was mentally unwell. This is how I constantly gaslight myself into each situation not being a big deal and now I’m just a pushover for him..

I would look for a support program for families who have a loved on with mental illness. One of the hallmarks of bipolar disorder is rash, impulsive decisions. Mood shifts are also part of it.

talking to other families and professionals to help you figure out how you can protect yourself and your kids (financially and emotionally) while still being supportive is really important.

definitely get support for yourself as a starting point.