Firstly, I have name changed, and I have spoken to my gp today.
I'm having a really tough time at the and literally can't see a way forward.
Happily married to my amazing & supportive dh. And live with our dd16 & ds10, but have older children too who have their own family.
I've worked in a male dominated industry for over 25 years, and I'm well known and respected within that industry. And this I think is my main problem.... I run the small & struggling company on a day to day basis. It's exhausting and stressful and my MD literally doesn't give a shit about me or the company. It's been up for sale for well over 4 years and my boss has basically driven the offers away with his demands. The most recent one was meant to complete by the end of August. But hasn't. I had a talk with my MD today and he can offer no help or money to get me some help despite me telling him today that literally cant do it all. This on-going..... so many times I've literally made myself ill for that place, and he just doesn't care!
My elderly parents..... mum is a massive narcissist, on oxygen 24 hours a day with COPD, heart failure & kidney failure. The texts are constant. Dad is very frail. Had another fall this morning, luckily we've had a live in carer for 2 weeks now. He's waiting for an urgent neurology appointment for suspected Parkinsons Disease. I live 5 minutes drive away so it's always me to the rescue or when they want something. My sister lives in London so doesn't get it like I do.
My ds10 has suspected autism/dyspraxia and is fine when he's getting his own way but obviously that's not always the case! And then he's violent and shouty.
So last weekend it all came toa head and I had a bit of an emotional breakdown. I literally didn't want to be here - but couldn't tell dh or the doctor if I wanted to kill myself or just run away. Run away physically is not something I want to do - I actually want to hide away at home.
The gp has signed me off for 3 weeks with a review with my actual gp on the last day. But if I'm not in work at least some of the time then nobody will get paid. Quotes, accounts, production scheduling and ordering of components won't get done. What do I do???