Anxiety of bridges

[DWMoosmum]

Since becoming peri menopausal, my already high anxiety has gone in to overdrive. Of all things, I'm now scared of driving over bridges. I think the anxiety has always been there with this but it's a lot more prominent now.

We go down to Cornwall once or twice a year, its our go to holiday destination, and we love it. I have no problem doing the drive but there is a stretch on the M5 that goes over a valley, so the south bound part of the bridge is about 100 foot up in the air from the northbound. (if you know, you know) It sends me in to full panic mode that;
a. we might get stuck on the bridge in traffic
b. I'll completely lose my mind and stop the car
c. ill get out of the car and jump off (I know I won't, but its my irrational fear)

Does anyone have any good coping mechanisms I could use as we're going back in October and I'm already pooping myself and building it up to be something much bigger than it is.

Thank you. ❤️

Can you remember how and when the fear of bridges began? Often it's a trigger from childhood - may a parent said something innocuous about driving over a bridge being dangerous, or a sibling scared you by teasing you when you were on a bridge. Whatever it was (and it might not be something you can recall) a part of your subconscious mind set up a fear response to keep you safe. Even though your logical, conscious mind know it's irrational it's being overridden by that earlier, emotional reaction.

This is the sort of fear that responds very well to a couple of hypnosis sessions - simply by talking to that bit of the subconscious and telling it the reaction is no longer necessary or helpful.

@Eyesopenwideawake thank you for responding.

Not really. We used to have to go and see my grandparents in London and this involved going over various bridges/flyovers and we loved it.
It's odd as I don't really have a problem when the bridges aren't very high, it more seems to be when the bridge is over water or over a valley and really high up. I'm also not bothered when I'm walking over a footbridge. I'm wondering if its just the height I'm scared of rather than the actual bridge.

I need to dig deep and find out the trigger. 😳. I think ill look into the hypnosis thing.

Thanks so much x

I would ask your GP to refer you for CBT @DWMoosmum.

@RosalindsAFuckingNightmare I might do that. I had it a few years ago so might nee a re visit. I actually trained in NLP about 15 years ago so I think I need to re visit the principals.

Thanks for responding. It's funny how your mind digs up things from the past that can either trigger or help. x

I know how you feel. I had to cancel a trip recently as it meant going across the Queen Elizabeth II bridge. I was just about to start CBT when Covid hit and because they couldn't do anything they signed me off!

You have good advice here, what about demystifying, graded exposure or flooding?

Demystify- May sound silly but reading about bridges, the structures, (I have had to do this for the Underground, I read structural reports about construction!)

also there is the psychological sensation that is somewhat universal - l'appel du vide or the call of the void. Also called the HPP - High Place Phenomenon. I think it is a sensitivity to internal cues (but could be a trigger as someone else said). The impulse to drive off the side of a bridge seems to be fairly common and fearing that impulse may exacerbate your fear. I have certainly experienced it when driving on cliffs and mountains, it is very overwhelming and odd, not a desire to die but an overwhelming feeling to drive off the edge.

I missed the point but I meant to say that your fears aren’t entirely irrational- the overwhelming sense of needing to jump / drive off high places isn’t unusual and may be part of a primitive brain response to being in a space that while it is objectively safe, feels intuitively unsafe.

Following a really standard CBT model - start with looking at pictures of the bridge, then look at it on Google maps, write the name of the bridge down and leave it out so you get desensitised to it. Find small bridges nearby to walk or drive over. Listen to traffic reports from the area so you get used to hearing "the x bridge is experiencing high traffic" or something similar. You can be pro-active too, check your engine/oil etc. before you go so you know you won't break down.

I'm the same OP, I have an irrational fear I'm going to swerve through the barrier and off the bridge. I absolutely hated driving over the Forth Road Bridge but find the Queensferry Crossing OK as it seems wider and more substantial somehow.

I find slowing down helps me feel more in control, obviously don't crawl but about 40-45 is manageable and not so slow as to hold anyone up for long. Breath steadily, be aware of traffic around you but focus on the road in front. If you still feel shaky once across, pull over when it's safe to do so till you calm down, or stop for a coffee.

I haven't tried this myself as I've only just thought of it but might virtually "driving" over the bridge on Streetview a few times help calm your fears?

I used to be the same op, in my mind I think the bridge will collapse or there will be a big crash or I will swerve into the water. I would completely panic about it days before I travelled over. When driving I keep focus on the road ahead and do breathing exercises and drive as slow as I can according to the traffic conditions. As a passenger I chat away to distract my mind and do things like clean out my bag or have a look online at something. I am still nervous but not as bad as I was.

Good luck op and have a fantastic holiday.

I can't help you with anything but I can sympathise. And I can tell you that you're going to be fine.

I have 'appel du vide/call of the void' which means that I'm not so much scared of heights but I get intrusive thoughts which make me think I'll jump off.

And where this aligns with your issue is that get those exact same thoughts when I drive over the Dartford Crossing!

What I CAN say is that I've safely reached the other side of the Dartford Crossing many a time despite these thoughts.

I, too, have no idea when any of this nonsense began or why!

Side note - I don't recommend bungee jumping to anyone who has these thoughts. I did it and actually enjoyed it but rather than help me, I feel that it made me more able to imagine jumping and more frightened that I might just forget I'm not in a harness and fling myself off something! Which I know is silly but there you go.

Thank you all so much for your wonderful suggestions. I actually feel better knowing that Im not alone, not that I want anyone to go through it, it's horrible. I will certainly try your suggestions. Thank you all so much. x