My mother is 85. I’ve become increasingly frustrated with some of her behaviour over the last 5-10 years, and looking back as far as my childhood am starting to wonder if it might indicate an actual issue, rather than just being a slightly unusual person. If you have experience of ASD in older people, I’d value your information.
For as long as I can remember, my mother has been pretty much free of emotions, either happy or sad. She can’t make small talk, has never said that she loves me, hates having her photo taken, doesn’t make eye contact with my husband, can’t engage with my children (who are now 16 and 17, but she hasn’t for at least 5 years). She finds a lot of life “too difficult “, for example planning a journey with multiple purposes she will leave the conversation, rather than try and understand what’s going on. She often looks baffled by a fairly normal suggestion or remark, as if she literally can’t work out how to respond.
This could be a very long post so I won’t go on too much longer. My mother and her twin sister were adopted at 3 weeks old, and I’ve often wondered if this is the origin of her lack of emotions. But she just doesn’t seem to have the same feelings as most people do. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer she pretty much seemed to pretend it wasn’t happening, and now (4 years on) never ever refers to it.
I have no intention of bringing this up with her, but would like to understand more about whether it’s a possibility.