I think I need help. Shall I contact my GP?

[Beyondhope]

Well where do I begin? I haven’t been on mumsnet for a while but really feel like I could do with some advice.

Over the last year I have noticed a massive shift in my mood. I am irritable and angry so much more than I used to be. It sometimes gets so much I have to lock my bathroom door and just clench my fists and scream into a towel. I feel so so worked up over little things that would normally not bother me much. I have 2 young boys and some days I really struggle to hold it together. I work part time and get very irritable there as well so I know it’s not just the demands of young children.

I lost my baby late on in my pregnancy back at the end of 2017 and can pretty much not remember a time since then when I haven’t felt easily emotional, irritable and angry. But lately it’s got so much worse.

Please, is there any advice? Do I need to see my GP? If I can even get an appointment? What would they do? I can’t carry on like this.

Yes absolutely speak to your GP a nice one, one you trust and explain what you have just said, also have a think what you help you would like before calling, on the NHS it will be meds and or short term counselling/CBT.

Thank you. What do you think is wrong with me? I’m not sure it’s depression but then again I have no idea. 😔

I was at my gp Monday. Its like I have a terror in my tummy and it needs to be released. I think mine is also grief related.

I'm on tablets and saw a counsellor. It's been a tough week but tonight I feel hopeful

I don’t want to make an armchair diagnosis but please do speak to your GP. In my experience they are really sympathetic and helpful and there is specialist help available.

it sounds like anxiety/depression but please do see or speak to your GP.

Hope you start to feel better soon OP x

Make an app to speak to your GP and hopefully they'll refer you to a therapist, there might be a bit of a waiting list. It sounds like exactly what I went through, which I determined in the end was PTSD (I also lost a baby, very traumatically and was unable to process it and move forward for a long time). Did you have much support when it happened/currently? X

Sorry for your loss op, sounds like grief to me. I don’t believe CBT would be appropriate, I did it for anger, I just ending up suppressing my anger which then turned into depression, so yeah you need an outlet for your anger also someone sympathetic who you can talk to about your beloved baby.

Thank you everyone for your kind words. I am going to call on Tuesday at 8am and get an appointment.

I had 3 years of heartbreak trying for our second baby. 6 miscarriages before 12 weeks and then the loss of my son late on. I finally had a successful pregnancy and put the past to bed (or so I thought). I didn’t talk to anyone about it and got on with looking after my new baby. Maybe something is brewing from that then? I don’t know. I don’t spend my days sad and upset about it any more as feel I’ve moved on but maybe I haven’t.

@Wheelerdeeler the monster in your tummy is a great analogy and I feel that describes how I feel. I hope you manage to feel better soon.

@EllieRosesMammy I’m sorry you experienced that. Can I ask how long it was between your loss and getting help? I feel at almost 5 years my symptoms surely can’t be down to the loss of my boy.

@Beyondhope my grief steps from 36 years ago triggered I think now by a few recent losses.

So absolutely this is likely related to your loss.

I work with someone who had a stillbirth 8 years ago and her anxiety and OCD has really become a problem for her 💕

I waited 3 years, it's entirely possible for it to be from the loss of your son, especially if the trauma was never dealt with properly at the time and you pushed it to the back of your mind. I did the exact same, just threw myself back in to work and looking after my daughter who was only still a baby at the time, didn't talk to anyone about it and didn't have a very supportive partner. I didn't spend all my days upset either, I filled them with housework, work, activities etc but it was always there at the back of my mind eating away at me. People seem to think depression is all crying and being laid in bed, but it can manifest itself in other ways, such as anger and irratability. I found that the thing that helped in the end was talking about it, or ranting even, and also having a new partner who just lets me get everything out and doesn't judge me is a huge bonus too❤️ if you need someone to rant to you're welcome to message me privately xx