I am going through a tough time with my parents, who need care due to mobility issues and are being extremely difficult. They live in my home country and I can only visit on my holidays and some weekends. I have a DH and a job here which I can’t abandon.
I am constantly checking my phone for distressed messages from them or my siblings. Almost every week there is some kind of emergency which inevitably ends with my mum being very upset which depresses me.
When this happens I can’t sleep (have always slept badly but when there is a crisis, I just don’t sleep for days), I cannot concentrate at work or think properly. It’s like my head is in a thick cloud. All I want to do is sit down and stare at some
fixed point and can stay hours like that. I have a very long commute and when I get home I lay down on my bed for hours. Or I feel like punching someone and screaming very loud. Sometimes I drive to a lonely place in the middle of the night just to be able to scream.
After a few days I usually perk up and am happy and lively until the next crisis.
I’ve never taken antidepressants or sleeping tablets. For my insomnia I have tried magnesium, melatonin, vitamin b, valerian, basically all over the counter meds. They haven’t made a difference.
Would antidepressants help me?
My DH is great but he has some MH issues that he is dealing with very well and I don’t want to put pressure on him. But I need to do something as I realise I am going downhill.
I haven’t spoken to my GP about this. She is not very helpful in my experience (for example she has ever given me for my insomnia is advice on sleep hygiene) but I realise I should probably start there.
Any advice will be very welcome.
Thank you for reading.