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Diagnosed with ADHD as an adult? Did it make your life better?

44 replies

coulditgetbetter2 · 23/08/2022 21:53

I've received a referral and I'm very excited that treatment could help me with things I've always struggled with for all my 45 years.

Do I need to bring my expectations down, or is this genuinely going to change things for me?

Should hopefully be signed off to go private for the evaluation.

OP posts:
aletterfromseneca · 23/08/2022 21:56

Personally, I couldn’t deal with side effects of any of the medication so it ended up not making much difference for me. Positives of the medication, even on an incredibly low dose were massive though (for the single week I got to experience them).

I think though it’s still been very useful in helping me understand myself better and changing some of my strategies to work with me rather than trying to work against myself expecting my brain to work in a certain way.

Lavendersummer · 23/08/2022 22:01

It makes a lot of my life make sense.
after some trial and error c o n c e r t a works for me Reduces the chat in my head and gives me more go
i have also sort of relaxed into the adhd rather than fighting it and feeling bad about myself a lot.

coulditgetbetter2 · 23/08/2022 22:17

Thank you - that's really interesting.

@flashbac That article is properly scary!

OP posts:
coulditgetbetter2 · 23/08/2022 22:17

@aletterfromseneca - do you mind me asking what side affects you had?

OP posts:
TwittleBee · 23/08/2022 22:22

A diagnosis of ADHD was hugely beneficial to me. My life just all made sense, my new job (6th in 2 years) made adjustments and put me on specific training to help me cope in an office environment (and I've now finally passed a probation!). My friends and family have been more accommodating too.

Its also meant that when I requested my son have an assessment, we were taken seriously and not dismissed despite him only being 4

Best of luck

AWafferthinmint · 23/08/2022 22:26

For those of you not medicated, what strategies do you use to help manage it?

coulditgetbetter2 · 23/08/2022 22:28

@AWafferthinmint Such a good question!

OP posts:
coulditgetbetter2 · 23/08/2022 22:28

@TwittleBee So glad to hear things got better for you

OP posts:
HMSSophia · 23/08/2022 22:36

Yes. I've stopped being (quite so) ashamed of the state of my life (house, car, garden, workspace), I'm able to simply say to people "sorry I'm abit bouncy, I'm adhd", I'm far kinder to myself and more appreciative of what I've achieved given I've lived over 50 years with adhd. I'm really proud of myself now. Rather than apologetic

PhoebusItMeansSunGod · 23/08/2022 22:37

It was worth the diagnosis for me as it helped me understand myself better but like a PP the meds were no good - side effects weren't worth it.

MyADHDUsername · 23/08/2022 22:38

My diagnosis has been a double edged sword. On one hand I am able to accept myself more and know that there is a reason I am the way I am (even though I still hate myself for being this way) - but on the other hand it has made me sad and angry too. I often wonder how my life would have turned out had I been diagnosed as a child and given the support I now know I needed and even just cut a bit of slack at times!!

I’ve not managed to reliably get onto medication because there’s just too much executive function required to organise it.

Sorry if I’ve posted more or less the same thing twice - I hit the wrong button!

PhoebusItMeansSunGod · 23/08/2022 22:39

AWafferthinmint · 23/08/2022 22:26

For those of you not medicated, what strategies do you use to help manage it?

I work in a job that doesn't make it worse (for me that's home based freelance work), I stick to a (loose) routine, I exercise, I take time out when I get overwhelmed and I don't feel bad about doing so.

I know there are certain things I can and can't cope with and I live my life according to that.

Meds didn't help with anything anyway really.

remiss · 23/08/2022 22:44

I was diagnosed in my late twenties and was on meds for about a year before deciding to stop them.

They helped with a lot of aspects of my life... stuff like having an empty washing basket or making spreadsheets. Anything that was kinda low effort, boring, repetitive etc became easy to do whereas before it was the bane of my life. Also gave me more drive, less "leave everything to the last minute".

Problem was I really didn't feel like me. Started to miss my thoughts always being super-fast and zig-zaggy compared to slow and steady straight lines. Not being 90% driven by emotions and impulses was nice but also really fucking boring. I always hated the fact I ruined relationships and could never really have one, but then I couldn't really have one anyway because I just didn't feel a thing for the person.

Also got sick of the doctor making you feel like a drug addict and having to practically beg for prescriptions every month. I used to skip days so I could have a little stockpile as I was scared of being left without for two weeks, but being off them is rough AF where you just want to sleep and gouch and be depressed.

Basically there are positives and negatives of both, so you have to decide what ones you're willing to live with. Maybe one day I'll go back to them but honestly right now I would rather focus on creating a life that's WAY more adhd friendly than having to medicate myself in order to survive modern life in 2022. Hopefully that makes sense!

PhoebusItMeansSunGod · 23/08/2022 22:47

remiss · 23/08/2022 22:44

I was diagnosed in my late twenties and was on meds for about a year before deciding to stop them.

They helped with a lot of aspects of my life... stuff like having an empty washing basket or making spreadsheets. Anything that was kinda low effort, boring, repetitive etc became easy to do whereas before it was the bane of my life. Also gave me more drive, less "leave everything to the last minute".

Problem was I really didn't feel like me. Started to miss my thoughts always being super-fast and zig-zaggy compared to slow and steady straight lines. Not being 90% driven by emotions and impulses was nice but also really fucking boring. I always hated the fact I ruined relationships and could never really have one, but then I couldn't really have one anyway because I just didn't feel a thing for the person.

Also got sick of the doctor making you feel like a drug addict and having to practically beg for prescriptions every month. I used to skip days so I could have a little stockpile as I was scared of being left without for two weeks, but being off them is rough AF where you just want to sleep and gouch and be depressed.

Basically there are positives and negatives of both, so you have to decide what ones you're willing to live with. Maybe one day I'll go back to them but honestly right now I would rather focus on creating a life that's WAY more adhd friendly than having to medicate myself in order to survive modern life in 2022. Hopefully that makes sense!

I totally agree with this. Part of me was like why should I have to drug myself to make myself fit into the world.

So I stopped taking them and adapted my life accordingly. Feel much better for it.

YellowPlumbob · 23/08/2022 22:48

Please, I had worse side effects and withdrawals from the numerous anti depressants/anti psychotics/anti anxiety meds such as

  • Pregabalin
  • Diazepam
  • Quetiapine
  • Promazine
  • Prozac
  • Venlafaxine
  • Dosulepin
To name just a few than I’ve had side effects from Elvanse (Adderall). Wrongly diagnosed, wrongly treated, with meds that the undiagnosed ADHD worse, landed in hospital multiple times with Serotonin Syndrome when on them, or during withdrawal, oh the gut distension that had me screaming in pain when I’ve had 3 unmedicated births when taking Pregabalin was my favourite.

Ive been on Elvanse for 4 years and no side effects.

YellowPlumbob · 23/08/2022 22:50

And no, I don’t miss my chaotic, life ruining behaviour.

PhoebusItMeansSunGod · 23/08/2022 23:01

YellowPlumbob · 23/08/2022 22:48

Please, I had worse side effects and withdrawals from the numerous anti depressants/anti psychotics/anti anxiety meds such as

  • Pregabalin
  • Diazepam
  • Quetiapine
  • Promazine
  • Prozac
  • Venlafaxine
  • Dosulepin
To name just a few than I’ve had side effects from Elvanse (Adderall). Wrongly diagnosed, wrongly treated, with meds that the undiagnosed ADHD worse, landed in hospital multiple times with Serotonin Syndrome when on them, or during withdrawal, oh the gut distension that had me screaming in pain when I’ve had 3 unmedicated births when taking Pregabalin was my favourite.

Ive been on Elvanse for 4 years and no side effects.

Please don't dismiss my experience, I've found that so much in the ADHD community.

I've no doubt meds made your life better. They didn't for me, and the side effects for ME were awful. I feel better without then.

PhoebusItMeansSunGod · 23/08/2022 23:02

I always reacted terribly to anti depressants too. The only thing I take now is a beta blocker when my anxiety gets bad. I really get cross when others don't believe it is possible to manage without meds.

YellowPlumbob · 23/08/2022 23:28

I also take beta blockers (and still on Pregabalin and Quetiapine - only on tiny doses of 50mg each rather than 600mg/300mg! - I have CPTSD too and that’s not going anywhere, ever) as the SSRIs did permanent damage - my HR is always high, so I’ll be taking BBs twice a day forever.

I didn’t mean to dismiss you, I’m sorry - I was talking more about that article which I find irresponsible at best.

They are game changers for many, not so much for others, it is a personal thing.

But some of us are single parents to 3 children (2 of whom are also diagnosed AuDHD, the other too young yet), manage a household alone and are the sole financial provider so things like working less, changing to a less stressful, less well paid job, taking life more slowly - simply aren’t an option.

Many things have changed - for example, I refuse to be rushed any more - NTs and their clock watching can fuck right off, frankly - and I don’t hold myself to any NT standards any more, as, IMO, it’s being abusive to myself.

The goal isn’t to behave like I don’t have ADHD (and can we even do that?!), but to make my life easier, and meds do that. I went a few days without them earlier this month due a house move and a prescription fuck up (they’re hand written and they wrote it wrong…) and if I had to live like that permanently, like I already did for 34 years, Id rather be dead.

Midlifemusings · 26/08/2022 08:58

I was diagnosed recently although I have always had it. I used to compensate using caffeine, sugar and sleep deprivation, and I would always do tasks right at the deadline in a state of panic. Then I developed an autoimmune disorder and could no longer compensate, leaving things to the end just meant they didn't get done. Caffeine was ineffective and I was drowsy and sleepy so no way to pull an all nighter. My life unraveled.

I started meds a few months ago in the hopes it would help me with written work tasks as my procrastination on these is a real issue. My issues are a complete lack of organization and planning and an inability to get things done.

I take Vyvanse. I do not take it everyday. It lasts the full day but as it starts to wear off it gives me a headache for the last few hours of the day. I also have to take it early or it keeps me awake into the night as it seems to last about 18 hours for me. I find it helps with some things. I feel calmer (less irritated / annoyed thoughts racing through my head), I get more basic tasks done (dishes, cleaning up around the house, paying bills) and it does help to a small degree with concentration when I am working on something. However I haven't really noticed a major difference - particularly with the longer writing tasks I need to do for work. Reports still aren't getting done on time. I realize I just chatter away to people when I am on it. I chatter when not on it too but I am more self aware that I am doing it. On the meds, I don't seem to have that same self awareness.

I take it maybe 2-3 days a week. I also don't want to become reliant on it or need an increase. I would say it has made a small positive difference but certainly isn't a be all and end all.

Still the only way I get most things done is when it is do or die and the consequence becomes so big that I feel immense pressure and panic and then my adrenaline surges and I can get stuff done. I have wasted so much money due to late fines, tuition for extended semesters in grad school, and irritated so many people by just not getting things done in life.

sandgrown · 26/08/2022 09:08

My son has just been diagnosed at age 20 . A few weeks after starting on Elvanse he passed his maths exam at the 6th attempt. He is over the moon . I just wish he had been diagnosed sooner as he may have done better at school . He also seems calmer generally.

Rounddog · 26/08/2022 09:28

I have CPTSD and ADHD behaviours. I’m not on meds which was something I decided because I knew the cptsd was ultimately going no where so I wanted to face into it and just deal with it if I could without meds and I’ve been very lucky.

I removed the people who caused the cptsd from my life. If your ADHD has anxiety causing people and past trauma making it worse I highly recommend facing up to the damage these people can be causing on an ongoing basis and making decisions about whether it is better to grieve their loss or continue engaging. This was a game changer for me but not with out consequences, obviously grief is extremely hard.

On the ADHD, well routine is very important for me. Automating routine stuff so I don’t have to do to much to achieve things. Lists matter a lot but short lists because long lists overwhelm me. Breaking down tasks into small bite size pieces helps. Preparation matters. I hold very little to no emotional attachments to objects and clothes so my house is completely pared right back making it much easier to keep and to organise. I have 3 kids and they are the same. I love a good skip, my husband laughs at me about how happy it makes me but every few years we get a small one and everything not in use in the house goes in it and out the door. Meditation really helps me although because I can easily dissociate due to past trauma it is not a magic bullet but it gives me some space from the millions of things going on in my brain even when I sleep.

I’m in a bad routine this week but I’m already planning for Monday to make the necessary changes to allow next week to start off the right way and take it from there.

Galvantula · 26/08/2022 09:39

It's definitely been better for me to understand why I've always struggled. I still have terrible shit self esteem though.

I've also been on Elvanse for over a year, I haven't had noticeable side effects at all. Felt a little tight in my chest for maybe a couple of weeks but that went away and my mouth gets a little dry if I forget to keep drinking, that's all. It's reduced my anxiety a lot and the amount that my own thoughts distract me.

I still am pants the week before my period though and feel useless and awful. I was without the medication for a week due to a combination of late ordering and stock issues and I hated it.

It hasn't changed my personality or the way I think really, I'm still me just a little less stressed and finding it easier to do boring stuff. I still think randomly compared to a lot of people it seems 😅

Discovereads · 26/08/2022 09:42

It hasn’t really helped me tbh. Both DH and I have it, although mine is the ADHD and his is the ADD variety. So I get hyperactive/hyper focus and he’s always fighting the procrastinate/forgetting what is a priority. Back when we were young he was just called stupid, and I was called things like random and stubborn.

So we had already developed coping mechanisms like to do lists for him, and alarms for me (I literally cannot tear myself away from things).

But when it comes to social interactions it still bites us and I never feel comfortable enough to say, oops that’s my ADHD. For example, I’ll often be chatting to my neighbour about things. And a comment I say that makes perfect sense to me, is really two word associations away. Recent example is we were talking about the drought and I mentioned other places are flooding because of the drought so we have to watch for flooding when the rains comes back, then we talked about obesity for a bit and how life expectancy is going to decline, thenI was asked about the DC at Uni and said oh yes they’re doing ancient history. Then I said oh you know the great flood myth with Noah? That’s ancient Sumerian. Abraham lived in Ur and he copied their myth into the Bible. So it’s not anything that happened to the Judaic peoples. Cue wierd look. But to me ancient history + flood rang a bell…so out I came with an odd bit of information and at the time did not realise it’s a bit religious…and so not appropriate for casual neighbour chit chat. 🫣