My world has fallen apart in the past 12 months and I've had way too much stress thrown my way. It's made me very ill and pushed my anxiety and depression to the max.
I work in a school and last September my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer, my daughter started with high anxiety after all the lockdowns we had and began getting regular tummy pains. My mum had surgery to remove her cancer and then had radiotherapy. I could be with her through any of it as my headteacher wouldn't allow me any time off. My mum is now recovering really well but has other health issues so is still unwell. My daughter got covid at new year and then I got it 10 days after her. This resulted in us both being off work and school which my head wasn't happy about because I'd had other time off with my daughter with her tummy pains. I tried talking to my head about things but she was very disinterested and made me feel worse for going to speak to her. I was very poorly when I got covid and my oxygen levels went to 96% for a month. I have asthma too so it was scary. I had a lot of brain fog which lasted for a few months too. I went back on a phased return after 6 weeks off as they were complaining about being short staffed at work. On the 3rd day of me returning to work I was told that I'd only be paid for hours I do and that starting from day 4 of my return to work I'd only get paid for hours worked. I couldn't take the drop in pay as I'm a single parent and so i had to go back full time even though I wasn't fit to. They wouldn't let me drop my welfare duty to get some rest during my day in work or take a break or take less duties etc, instead I got more piled on me. Not once was I asked how I was or if I needed anything and I didn't have a return to work either. When I began getting crippling pains in my side down to my lower abdomen and womb area I forced myself to go into work when I was clearly unwell. I was given a letter infront of a class of kids to say I'm not allowed any more time off between Feb to July or it will mean a formal warning and meeting as my attendance is unacceptable. I have never been off more than once a year sick and its only due to appointments for my daughter and her being sick why I've been off. She didn't want to know any of this when I've spoken to her about it. I then ended up in A and E in agony. I was given an emergency appointment for gynaecology 2 days later as the doctor thought it was my endometriosis. I went back to work the next day, in agony, and told her what had happened. All I was told was she'd have to get advice then came back saying I'm allowed to attend the appointment and they'll pay me as emergency leave but I have to bring the outpatients letter to prove it. I went the next day from work to my appointment and took the discharge letter for proof. Tgey think its my endo and also INS now too and they think all the stress im under is causing both to flare up. I was then asked when she walked past me one day in school a week later how I got on in front of children so I couldn't say much. After this I got my appointment for a surgery I'd been waiting on before covid and had to reschedule the date to school holidays so I wasn't off. Part of the recovery time was when we went back to school after the school hols so I had to tell her and again she sought advice and said if I can prove I need time off after it then I can take it - I got a sick note from my surgeon. Before this surgery I got a section 21 from my landlord telling me I had 2 month to move out as he's selling the house to someone he knows who wants to live in it. I told my head as I burst out crying with the stress, worry and pain I was getting too which got worse. She just sat there and said maybe I should look for a job that would pay more. After my surgery I kept having severe panic attacks which are still happening now. I got signed off with severe stress and anxiety and have been off work now for several months. I can't fund anything suitable for us to move to, it's either way overpriced or a one bed room in a house share. My daughter is 9 and with her health we have been finally referred to paediatrics after over 12 trips to the doctors and A and E with her tummy pains. She has insomnia since having covid so most nights neither of us gets more than 4 hours sleep. Her school have been amazingly supportive which is such a relief. My boss has got occupational health involved due to my absences and they did an assessment which has taken months to get - I've been referred to an OH Doctor as they don't feel I'm fit for work with all I have going on. He has assessed me and thinks the same and has suggested a stress assessment from work (to be done by HR rather than the head due to how she makes me feel) but this is to be arranged when I'm in a better place. I'm getting pressured by the letting agency to leave the property as I should have been out in May but I have nowhere to go and I bid daily with the Council and other housing associations but I come between 30 and 250 in the queue for everything I bid on. The section 21 has an error on and I told the letting agency this but they have chosen to ignore it and are threatening me that if I don't go soon the landlord will seek a possession order from the court and bailifs will kick me out and this will mean I will lose my deposit and it will cost me money in court fees. The council cannot and won't do anything to help me until I'm actually out on the street and I'm beyond worried. I don't sleep, I don't eat much, I'm tired inside and out. My mum is too poorly to support me and lives in a 1 bedroomed assisted living flat and I've no one to turn to. My best friend doesn't understand and just seems to want to know when I'm going back to work and makes me feel worse whenever I hear from her like its all nothing to worry about and I'm overreacting. I've no savings, everything's going up in cost, and I forgot to mention aswell that the week after I told my boss about my housing situation etc she reduced my hours to 15 hours a week which is half what I do now so I've no chance if getting a private rental as I wouldn't be able to afford the rent at all as they're all way more expensive than what I'm in. My only hope is the council which at this rate will take years to get somewhere with with my position numbers when bidding. I know I'm not the only person in this position but I'm so worried and scared. It's effecting every aspect of my life. All summer we have been at home as we can't afford to do anything as every spare bit of cash is trying to be saved for us to get a van when we find somewhere. I want to leave here so badly as every day I feel trapped. I self referred to minds matter and have been assessed and am on a 15 week waiting list to start CBT therapy. I've never felt so lost and alone. My head hasn't even asked if I'm OK or if I've found somewhere to live yet or anything and I feel like she doesn't like me. Others have had loads of time off for things like the dentist without her batting an eye and yet I'm being used as what feels like a scape goat. I just don't know what to do and feel so alone.