Does counselling work for an anxious teenager?

[saffy56]

I think I need to get some counselling sorted for my DC. 2.5 yr wait for CAMH's. Our daughter has been struggling with socialising etc since all the COVID stuff started.

My DP thinks counselling or talking about the issues are fuelling the problem and by just ignoring it the anxiety will pass as our child gets older. Child is 15. DP thinks private counsellors are just after your money and DD has to learn to cope.

So I would like to know opinions about whether counselling really does work or by sitting patiently will the anxiety get better on its own. There is no self harm or depression but my worry is if I don't get anything sorted it could escalate. He says I am catastrophising and falling into the 'lets use a counsellor for every little problem" trap. Ignore her and dont discuss and anxiety will disappear but I am not so sure!!

I was so relieved to see someone had asked this question as I have the exact same issue with my daughter, however I'm saddened that no one has replied!
My daughter is very overly emotional and has a tendency to be anxious and depressed for no reason which started with puberty so we put it down to hormones. She, however, is adamant that she should be receiving counselling as ALL her friends do, we are uncaring parents for not helping her (obviously we don't understand).
Both my DH and I are in agreement that she needs to learn to deal with tough situations (like GCSEs and friendship issues) herself, without relying on going to counselling, otherwise how is she going to cope later in life?

I'm torn though, and was considering paying for her to see someone for the short term, until I saw how much it costs! I'm willing to pay if I know it will help, but I'm really torn too!!!! Agghh!

I think it can work or also things like art psychotherapy, drama therapy etc that are more creative.

Therapists and counsellors aren't in it for the money - they barely break even most of the time.
It's similar to the support camhs might provide but you get to choose someone who is a good fit for your family.

I found when ds had animal assisted therapy it gave him a bit of confidence and a space to explore how he felt about himself.

It can help in that its someone to help encourage baby steps to overcoming anxiety (when we are anxious we think in unhelpful ways - catastrophising, predicting the worst, and act in unhelpful ways - avoiding things that make us anxious, over-estimating risk or under estimating ability to cope, and these thoughts and behaviours are what 'keeps anxiety going'. I'd say make a bit of a plan collaboratively with your child - work out what things you can all do that might help and make steps to dealing sensitively and pro-actively with the problem - see which of your ideas dc likes, and listen to their own. If therapy is one they are keen on, online or face to face? Try to find something CBT based. On my list would be :
Improving healthy adequate eating and vitamins
Fun exercise
Tweaks to support good sleep
Feelgood family movie nights or board game nights
Time with parents individually
Work towards a goal they are anxious about but would really like to be able to do, starting with the very smallest step, be persistent.
All agree to read a book about anxiety to get a grounding (Overcoming Anxiety CBT series, or for free stuff Google CCI workbooks overcoming anxiety or visit Get Self Help website)
Agree to support but quit reassurance (which doesn't work and maintains the problem) or over protection.
Pursue interests, build confidence and consider if social media could be used more positively.

I guess in short, time with family is usually a big help for anxious teenagers even if they don't seem to want it!

My DD (now 19) suffers from anxiety. It was much worse between 13-16. Not puberty related but trauma. She had talking therapy at school. It didn't work. We tried camhs but that was hit and miss. We struck lucky with a SALT who had worked for Barnardos. She was someone who suggested coping mechanisms. Check if you can get a barnardos counsellor locally.
My DD has some difficult days but can communicate and knows she needs to ask for help. I wfh for a year to help her. I appreciate not everyone has that option.

My DD had counselling last year to deal anxiety and depression as a result of a coercive relationship where there had been a sexual assault.

She hated it! In the end she said she was absolutely sick and fed up of going over it all again and again and she just wanted to forget about it all. So we stopped taking her.

She does seem better these days, but I do worry that it might affect her further down the line because she hasn’t dealt with it now, if you see what I mean.

But her experience taught me that counselling isn’t always for everyone…