Don't seem to fit in anywhere.

[bogie]

I'm getting quite stressed at the mo because i really can't seem to fit in.
I'm 20 with a 2 year old ds and just found out we have another on the way, we were also fostering my sisters 3 kids because she is a drug addict but they have recently been moved for there own safty as my sister knew they were here and would come round out her face.
All my friends are still at uni or just wanting to go out clubbing all the time.
So i have tried parents and toddlers where i am its a couincl area quite rough there are loads of young mums around but they are a typical couincl estate young mum always with a fag or spliff in there mouth smacking there kids flat caps trouser leg rolled up chav types.
I can't stand them.
This is the only area we could afford to buy in.
Our parents live in much nicer areas where me and dp grew up.
So i try parent and toddler groups there (tumble tots ect) but then all the mums are alot older than me and are very clicky probably seeing me (i look about 14 i can't buy lottery from shops with out my passport)and thinking she's not old enough to know how to look after children.
The only people who i can talk to is my mum dp and mil.
So what do i do?

I'm sorry you are feeling like this. Are there any mners near you that you could meet up with?

I don't think theres anyone near me

Bogie - where are you? I am sure there will be some MN's near you.

i'm in Nottingham

Have a look here bogie.

babe i no how u feel, im 22 with a 2year old and a 7 months old and i too only look about 14
the older sensible mums that i want to get to know arnt interested cos they think im to young and assume i must be a bad mother, and the young mums think im stuck up cos i dont dress my kids in labels or give them bottles and dummies over the age of one.
so what do you do? i try and fail to make friends, even my church group isnt very friendly.

is nottingham near croydon at all? we could meet up

Hi Natty
Croydens miles away from here .
Its so bloody annoying I went to meet up with one of my friends today and we have nothing in common anymore at all.
All she wanted to talk about was who she pulled on friday and what she drank and what dj's were on, I just find it so boring now.

I really sympathise with you guys, I think if you talk to the older mums (of which I am one) you will find them to be fine. We older ladies just feel slightly intimidated by you young, coping well and everything still in the right place ladies. You sound like a fantastic person and I am inspired by your motivation. I am sure there must be some MNers near you, try the meet up boards.
I hope you feel happier soon you certainly deserve it.

bogie hi there hun.im classed as a older mum(33) i have two kids.my eldest is 14 so i was a young mum also i was 18 pregnant and 19 when i had her.i do feel for as i know how it feels,have you tryed netmums theres a local meet a mums board for all areas.i found a few friends on there myself all younger than me lol.23years lol.and have got very good friends now.well worth having i look at hun.good luck.and hope all goes well for you. if you wana have a friendly chat my email is [email protected]

Where in Nottingham are you Bogie? You might be happier out towards me a little (in the villages between Nottingham and Alfreton). We're only 20mins in the car from Nottingham and Derby though.

I was a young (good) Mum here and didn't experience what you are saying - the houses are fairly cheap here as well I think.

saz, i am pretty much in the same boat as you - 2 year old DD2, 17 year old DD1. Its "interesting".

Bogie, it is hard being a young mum thats true enough, it sounds like you have so much on your plate just now - wow, i certainly admire you - your neices and nephews are very lucky to have you as an aunt.

PMSL at the cloth cap chavs!! I know what you mean, but you have to be v careful about the C word on here .

M&T is a bloody minefield. But my advice is persevere. It does sound like your area is a bit rough, but they can't ALL be chavs. The same as the other mums can't all be snobby cows - i do know what you mean though, its hard to find a compromise. I have certainly done the M&T gauntlett and its difficult. I admire you for keeping it up.

Is there a homestart in your area. They often run great groups - the one i go to is a fair mix - im the chavvy one though i think ;)

I know this sounds a bit mad, but have you thought about a church group, you would think that maybe that might have a friendlier atmosphere and not be frequented by rough types. It is so difficult. The best group i go to is attended by a scruffy bunch of exhausted mums, all ages and everyone scrubs in together - and not a flat cap or burberry scarf in sight

I was classed as a young mum in my area when ds was born. I was 23, but all new mums in my white middle class neighbourhood were at least 30. Still I got to know them and get along well with some of them. Age doesnt matter really, you're all mums of little ones, so you should have things in common. You'd be surprised.

i am 26 and have ds 6 dd 2 and another on the way, when people see me with dd i geta lot of oh how loverly is she your first.... i'm like no i have a six year old and then i will normally get a funny are you joking look and they will normally ask if i am 16 as they assumed

ffs why does it matter how old you are or look as long as you are caring for your kids properly

Hi Bogie
I missed this thread seem to remember you say prev that your in netherfield.We moved he recently as also wanted to buy and could affors much nicer house here than else where. I'm 22 and have a little boy thats 4 months would love to meet up if you see this.

Hi Bogie
I missed this thread seem to remember you say prev that your in netherfield.We moved he recently as also wanted to buy and could affors much nicer house here than else where. I'm 22 and have a little boy thats 4 months would love to meet up if you see this.