I’m genuinely worried I won’t manage this. What do I do?

[Rhubarbandcustardcat]

We booked a holiday abroad ages ago - and I went along with it thinking I’d be feeling less anxious by now. It was about eight months ago.
Ive never liked going abroad for various reasons but the pandemic and the fact I now suffer with anxiety has made it worse.
We go on Friday for two weeks. It’s such a long time. I’ve not been about to eat for several days because I’m so anxious about it and my heart is racing. The flight out is 5am so we need to leave home at 2am at the latest.
At the moment even walking upstairs is causing my heart to race and I have to sit down. Im not sure how I’m going to cope getting everything ready. And then the airport. With two children.
Im aware I sound pathetic but I was basically just about coping before the holiday and now I feel like it’s the tipping factor. I just cannot carry on and yet I’ve got to because DH and the children want to go.

Any advice? It’s that physically I’m not sure how I’m going to manage it. I’ve lost more weight and my bmi is now just below 18. I know that the heart racing etc is due to the not eating but I’m not able to eat anything. I am drinking water.

In the same boat. We fly later today and I haven't slept and feel so panicked about the queues in the airport.

I feel sick. Surely holidays are supposed to be relaxing!!

Could you buy some kalms tablets or something herbal? Or you've got time to speak to your GP. I'd be staying in an airport hotel the night before unless you're really close as feeling like you're 'there' is helpful.

It can get very stressful packing, so try to get that done early. Buy some of that travel clothes wash so you don't feel you have to pack enough for 2 weeks.

It'll be lovely, once you're there you can just relax.

Hello. This sounds awful. Go to your GP and see if they will prescribe you beta blockers or Diazepam. They really work, and could be the difference between a family holiday or not. Then when you're home, talk to the GP again about longer term anti anxiety medication. I'm talking from a place of knowledge as I have been in your situation. Don't let this spoil your holiday - you can do it! It will be uncomfortable, but possible 💕

You need to make yourself eat OP. Sorry I know you know this. The not eating will be making you feel worse. Approach it like first trimester pregnancy - eat whatever you are least repelled by and force it down.

It will be fine. A few hours of stress maybe and then a lovely holiday.

No advice other than I agree what a PP said about speaking to your GP about some medication. Lots of people need some help dealing with flights.
Just wanted you to know you're not pathetic at all, I'm feeling the same about a short UK holiday as I struggle being away from home. Sorry I'm no help but just wanted you to know you're not alone

It’s not the flight - it’s the whole thing.
It won’t be just the airport and the flying it’ll be the entire time we are away. I don’t feel safe for some reason. I’m not getting on brilliantly with DH and he doesn’t understand why I feel so anxious. I do get it’s frustrating. He’s always liked holidays abroad but that’s partly because I do everything.
I feel like I’m properly on the edge of a breakdown. I can only manage very small things before I have to stop and sit down. I’m so tired.

If you can get a phone appointment with your GP, they might give you a short term prescription of diazepam. I went through a very stressful, anxious situation and my doctor did that and also referred me for counselling. The short burst of meds really helped to take the edge off the extreme feelings and after a week, I felt so much better. In your case, it might be enough to enable you to have a lovely time and then chat to your doctor when you're back about a longer-term solution,

Are you on any medication for your anxiety? If not get short term diazepam from your GP (and then after, consider if you want longer term support).

He’s always liked holidays abroad but that’s partly because I do everything.
Is that the case this time too? If so that needs to change immediately. Tell your DP you’re trying your hardest and if you’re going to succeed he’s going to need to do X, Y & Z.

I agree with the advice above. Tell him you feel shit scared, and if you go on this holiday is is with the understanding that he pulls his weight with the kids, with tidying/packing and everything else. See how that conversation goes and take it from there. Tell him you are at the end of your tether and you need him to step up. Medicate if you want but also you sound like you asking him to be your partner, not another child.

You really need to talk to your GP. It sounds like you have let your health slide to a pretty bad place. Talk to your GP and get help, it doesn't have to be this way.

Well I survived the long queues and chaos on my flight last night. Despite all my anxiety it really wasn't as bad as I had talked myself into believing it would be and I'm glad I did it.

Hopefully if your GP can give you something short term to cope with the immediate issue you can sort out something longer term when you're back.

Good luck OP!

How are you feeling today OP?