Anxiety is ruining my life

[justanothermanicmonday21]

I don't know what I'm hoping to achieve by posting, I am just really struggling with anxiety at the moment and needed to write it all down.

I was due to go to a colleagues leaving do tomorrow up in London but the thought of it is making me feel so anxious it's brought me to tears a few times - money worries, heat worries, childcare worries are all a factor. I spoke to them yesterday to say I wouldn't attend and I just feel so guilty and like I am letting them down. It feels so rude but I am so stressed about it.

I normally carry on and push through any anxiety I have but the last month or so I feel like it's really ramped up and I am struggling with it so much. Anything different or out of my comfort zone I overthink and struggle with. I have physical symptoms, get hot and flustered so I think the heat hasn't helped.

I wish I didn't feel like this I hate it so much. I've tried propranolol - think Thai is how it's spelt? But that's ran out and tbh didn't do much for me even if I took two tablets.

Do I go back to the go and see if there's anything else? I can't carry on half living my life because my brain is constantly on overdrive.

First of all you're not letting anyone down by not attending a leaving do, no one will think badly of you so please put that out of your mind.

Anxiety is an emotion, like fear, love, anger and joy. It's purpose is to bring attention to the important stuff that you need to attend to. If there's too much going on in your life it can ramp up and overwhelm your mind, like a fairground ride with too many lights and noise.

So the first thing to do is recognise that it's there for a purpose. Take stock of what's actually important in terms of time (urgent/non urgent) and difficulty (easy/hard) every morning. Tackle the urgent and easy stuff first. Tick. Then the urgent but more difficult. Tick. If that's all you get done in the day then accept that you've done a good job. If there's time and energy then the easy and non urgent stuff is next. The hard and non urgent? Decide if you can simply bin it!

Have a look at this video about not feeling anxious about anxiety - which is very, very common;

Yes. Go back to your GP and explain how you are feeling.

I have struggled with anxiety over the years. I found counselling and CBT helpful longer term, but in the short term there might be something else you can try for the physical symptoms.

I have tried propranolol too and didn't find it helped much, but I have had sleeping tablets to help me get some sleep when my anxiety is at its worst and also diazapam which helped when my symptoms were really bad.

I know they aren't a long term solution but they helped to get my symptoms under control so I was able to function better and break out of the vicious cycle of anxiety that I was caught up in.

I was afraid of my anxiety and that fear fed the flames. Once that was calmer I could engage with longer term solutions, which I am still working on.

Also don't under estimate how important your basic health and lifestyle are. Eating, sleeping and exercise all play a part.