Diagnosed myself as on the autistic spectrum

[Wondering74]

Bit of background:
I’ve always felt “different”. Needed alone time, very intense feelings, etc
Fast forward to now - age 53:
single mum to 18 year old
falls apart if daughter lies
ocd surrounding keeping our home safe - checking plug, locks, etc numerous times before going out
finds other people’s company exhausting at times
needs lots of alone time
rejects potential partners at the slightest “fault”
sees through people’s “fakeness”
stressed & anxious about things I’m not used to
too much attention from people makes me feel trapped yet feel lonely too
do like restaurant tables in the middle of a room
distracted by loud sounds
can’t listen to more than one person at once
There’s probably more…
Any thoughts or am I just picky and difficult?!

There’s no such thing as a self-diagnosis.

If you need/want a diagnosis you need to speak to a professional.

@DelisButAlsoCrime i meant I’d read about various traits and recognise them in myself

Obviously it’s possible. But - and I don’t mean this to be harsh - people on Mumsnet really aren’t qualified to say whether you’re on the autistic spectrum

My thoughts are that you need to seek an assessment. No one can diagnose you - not you, not other people on MN - except for trained medical professionals. Go and see your GP.

It's definitely worth a conversation with a health professional op but as others have said, no one is qualified to confirm a diagnosis online this way. Best of luck though

Thanks for all the replies so far. I don’t need a diagnosis really , I was just interested to know people’s thoughts based on my traits!

If you don't need a diagnosis, then why are you self diagnosing? What will you do if 20 random internet people say "oh gosh yes sounds about right"?

It's a total spectrum, you could have 10 traits and still not be on the spectrum, you could have 5 trains and be on it. Just having a list of things and putting it online isn't enough for anyone to give you any sort of informed information.

You clearly have sensory overload - but autism does not jump out at me.
With the checking you seem to have OCD.
Worth also googling infant reflexes not going dormant.

I absolutely, 100% “know” I’ve at least got ADD (as much as you can know without a professional diagnosis). Having always known there was something ‘wrong’ then reading extensively about ADD was a massive lightbulb moment.

so I completely get where you’re coming from Op. especially the parts about finding fault with potential partners and and seeing through(and being repelled by) so called fakeness. That and needing alone time, coupled with loneliness (and generally my life being the most disorganised, procrastinated mess you could possibly imagine!.)

not attempting to diagnose anyone here (except myself obvs 😁) just sympathising and saying you’re definitely not alone 💐

If you think you have a neurological disorder, why wouldn't you seek an assessment. Unless you're worried you won't be diagnosed with whatever you've decided you have.

Gosh, why are people so on the attack all the time - why can't she ask whether (for eg) people with a diagnosis recognise these traits? They might help her get closer by asking questions about other traits and that would be helpful. Diagnosis is a long and difficult journey.

@oofmehip thank you 😊 💐

@WinterDeWinter thank you. I was also wondering why people were being so hostile. Was just hoping for some gentle thoughts/opinions …

I diagnose autism in my job.

traits, yes - jumping out at me, no.

Should have said “don’t like restaurant tables in the middle of a room”

I did an online autism assessment & when I scored really high went to MY GP & asked for a referral, it took 2 years to get an appointment but after 2 45 minute appointments got a diagnosis of ASD ( Aspergers) I was already fairly sure after going through ds being assessed.

My GP told me I could self-identify as having autism. I spoke to her as I wanted to be put forward for an assessment. She told me that she would refer me but it was unlikely that they would take it further as they were so stretched so I could self-identify as she thought it likely. She did put me forward and after an initial assessment I am now waiting for a full assessment.

I'm autistic and autism doesn't jump out at me from the list of problems that you have identified but you would need a proper assessment to rule it out.

Are you getting any help for your OCD?

The reason some people are hostile to people who self diagnose is because self diagnosed people often take over online spaces and tell both diagnosed people and parents of autistic kids that we are doing everything wrong. Obviously, that is not what you are doing here but people are cautious.

One thing that stood out to me though was you feeling picky and difficult which is how people have described me all my life. For me working out exactly why I hate change and other things that make me anxious and therefore stubborn and difficult has really helped me cope and communicate my needs a lot better.

I think your title has been the thing that maybe made PP hostile.

A diagnosis isn't a particularly easy process as an adult. Especially as many adults who get a diagnosis will have had significant difficulties that have likely been ignored or unsupported from a very young age.

I was diagnosed a few weeks ago. And for me it felt incredibly important to be assessed properly by professionals. I could not call myself autistic without going through this process. Maybe it's my black and white thinking, but it felt disrespectful to those that have been through the diagnostic process to do so. I certainly can't talk for any other autistic person, but the assessment was an important part of acknowledging my lifelong struggles and start to try and begin to understand myself.

I would not self diagnose any physical ailments like diabetes or asthma because I thought my symptoms matched, I would always ask professional advice and if needed be tested.

Nobody can tell someone on a online forum if they are autistic. You could have traits. But getting a diagnosis is far more complex than that. For many even those considered 'high functioning' the impact on their lives can be massive, is life long and because of late diagnosis,
can be accompanied by quite severe mental health difficulties. My personal experience of autism is far more than just 'a different way of thinking'. It does of course differ for everyone.

If it's something that you feel could be a possibility for you, then my advice would be to seek assessment by a professional.