This is going to be long. As title says I haven’t slept in 4 days (question mark because I’m sure I maybe had 1-2 hours last night). Even before this started I was struggling mentally, but now it’s worse than ever.
I’ve always been a bit paranoid that someone was trying to break in, but now I’m constantly hearing/seeing it happen. Last night I ran to the window because I heard someone outside say “The window is open”, and it wasn’t but it was so clear and there was no one there. Just the morning I heard someone try the lock (again no one), and as I made a cup of tea had that horrible sensation on the back of my neck, and this guy was standing in the window, creepy smile in tow (the moment I looked properly, gone).
Now I know these things aren’t happening and there’s no one there, but now I’m creeping around my house on eggshells so it’s impacting me. I also have very little patience, I’m shouting at my daughter and I think I may be falling asleep sitting here as I have just seen my hoover exploding dust all over my kitchen.
What in gods name am I supposed to say to my GP? I’m fully aware I need to go but where do I even start? That’s if I can even get through and get an appointment. Writing it is helping but I genuinely cannot get a coherent sentence out. My partner is working until tomorrow and then I’m in work from Saturday, I work a quite high pressure job and do 12 hour shifts, and I can’t really be waking round the office checking windows and looking over my shoulder constantly.
I also think maybe I’m making light of it but it’s how I cope. I want them to take me seriously but not too seriously; I’m worried as I’m a mess physically as well, so is the house, my daughter is clean/fed but I don’t want her taken off me. I’m already worried someone will take her anyway (no reason for that one either).
If you’ve read all this, thank you. Even knowing someone will read will help, I just want to know where I’m even meant to go from here.