Anxiety flare up

[Fuzzyduckduckyfuzz]

In the middle of a terrible flare up of anxiety. Can't seem to get it under control. I've bit the bullet and booked counselling and hypnotherapy.

Anyone had any experience of these?

Yes, and it can come seemingly out of nowhere! I found counselling incredibly helpful, I'd tried cbt loads but it only worked a bit for me.
Never tried hypnotherapy, although I am tempted, anything for some relief.
Hope you're doing OK!

Yes, totally randomly and without trigger. Wondering if it's perimenopause as I can't figure out a cause...

I found CBT and a short course of Counselling helpful in coping with my anxiety. I am now looking to have more counselling to try and get to the real root of the problem as my anxiety and depression is a recurring problem.

I found that if you go and are open to it and engage that it can be helpful. I have previously attended sessions where I just physically turned up but was not prepared to open up and be honest and receptive to the therapy and this was not very helpful. It is good that you have chosen to book it for yourself as this is much more likely to be a success.

I am a very shy, nervous, closed off person but when I was ready for counselling it was a really positive experience and I was able to open up.

This is progressively getting worse I think the therapy has opened up a whole can of worms.

I had a lot of trauma as a child with my dad and violence and cheating and it seems to have brought all that to the surface

That can of worms was always there in your subconscious mind and quite possibly the cause of your anxiety. Yes, it's horribly painful opening it up, but therapy should help you realise that none of what happened in your childhood was in any way your doing and allow you to let it go.

I tried the hypnotherapy to no avail. I was sceptical anyway but I think it's an actual psychiatrist I need to see

Never tired hypnotherapy but sure it’s worth a shot. I get anxiety flare ups from time to time one thing that does help me is exercise, even a 15 min you tube session shifts it slightly. You have my sympathy anxiety is the pits !

Yep. I tend to manage it with industrial quantities of benzos until it goes away and the inevitable depressive episode hits, but I acknowledge that this may not be the healthiest approach.

I'm struggling with paranoid thoughts about my partner who works away. And my mind utterly convinces me that these things are real.

Thankfully my oh is incredibly understanding and I can talk it through with him - he never gets angry or defensive he just helps me process the thoughts.

I was cheated on badly in my past relationship and it's now manifesting as this anxiety fuelled episode

I should add, he's not done anything to cause me not to trust him

Imagine your mind is a ship, with a captain, your logical conscious which thinks things through and makes rational decisions, and a crew, who look after your emotions, memories and imagination and run all the day to day stuff like driving your car and making sure you take your house keys with you when you leave the house. The priority of your crew is your happiness and safety, in that order - it sees the ice cream van but not necessarily the busy road.

I had a lot of trauma as a child with my dad and violence and cheating

So now the part of your crew that deals with relationships (and specifically men) is screaming at you that men can't be trusted and will ultimately hurt you - there is additional "proof" from the previous infidelity. Your captain is saying that this man is different but the damage was done before the captain was on board - your conscious mind only starts developing from around 8/9 years old - so the crew are overriding the captain.

If you were my client I'd be asking to speak to the part of the crew who are sabotaging the current relationship and telling them that you are now in charge and they are preventing your happiness by triggering your anxiety. As that is their primary aim they would stop the negative thoughts. I'd also ask the part that is still ruminating over why you father behaved as he did that there's no satisfactory answer anymore so it can let that go.

@Eyesopenwideawake thank you so much for this post I've read it over and over

Glad it helped 😊