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Husband's hurtful words

4 replies

Mhomas · 10/08/2022 13:42

It's my 40th birthday coming up an my husband, as predictable, hasn't planned or bought me anything. He asked what I wanted so I told him admitting I feel anxious and guilty asking for the specific gift due to it's value. He said that he doesn't want to buy anything cheap as it's my special birthday so he was happy to get me the quite expensive present I wanted, because we don't usually do expensive gifts. Fast forward few weeks when he realised my birthday is very soon and he hasn't yet bought it. He ordered the gift and rolled his eyes and said 'that's two month's mortgage'... and left the room. So, I've been feeling guilty all along and can't overcome his comment. How can I be genuinely happy and excited about my birthday next week. Why do men do this??

OP posts:
Eyesopenwideawake · 10/08/2022 15:57

"How can I be genuinely happy and excited about my birthday next week" - that's the question you need to ask him, he made the comment, it's down to him to make amends.

Is this typical of him or is he genuinely worried about your finances?

Milkand2sugarsplease · 10/08/2022 16:18

He shouldn't have made the comment at all but the situation also depends on a couple of things...

If money is tight and he's worried about money then he shouldn't have bought it and wouldn't have been able to make the comment. At the same time, in this scenario you shouldn't have asked for it.

If money is ok and the gift is affordable then you need to have a conversation about how he treats you and why he felt the need to make you feel bad.

Shinyandnew1 · 10/08/2022 16:23

I cannot comprehend suggesting spending two months mortgage on a gift but maybe our mortgage is much higher!!

If you can afford it, then he’s an arse and shouldn’t have said it-I would say that to him, too. If you are in a situation where you are worrying about rising interest and energy prices, then I probably wouldn’t asked for something that expensive even if it was a special birthday.

What did you get him for his latest ‘special’ birthday?

BlackSwan · 10/08/2022 21:20

Why? Because they're pricks.
So you get the present, but there's no generosity of spirit. Dick.

Enjoy your birthday and buy yourself something too.

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