Bear with me on this one, it might get long - apologies

[indiechick]

I'm so fed up with my husband. He's given up alcohol for Jan (which I guess is a good thing - he was drinking way too much) but he's unbearable to live with. I'm trying to be supportive but all he does is bite my head off, he's so touchy and irritable. He's constantly biting dd's head off when she's only being a typical 3 year old. We've never argued so much in five years of being together. I'm beginning to think I should leave him, he's being so unpleasant. He complains about everything, our dd's toys are mainly in the living room which looks like a bomb has hit it during the day but which gets cleared up at nighttime, today he had a go about it not being tidy in the middle of the day, I mean controlling or what?! (I told him to tidy it up himself, dd and I were having an afternoon nap). This evening he's complained 'cos I made a comment about the game he was playing on the play station. He's just complained he feels hemmed in at home at the weekend, but he never leaves the house. He has no mates and is either asleep or on the computer or play station. He hardly plays with dd, never takes her out anywhere. Sorry for the moan but I'm getting sick of it.
I'm pregnant and if I complain at all of feeling tired, achey, he just says, well you wanted another child, not terribly helpful.
What do you think, is it me?!

Help please?

No, not you. Read a thing tonight saud parents are less happy that other couples. Key is if both agree to have kids. Sounds like he isn't as happy as you?
My dh has given up booze 'for ever' after being a total wanker to me and ds. Now, he's hell to live with so I sympathise. And he doesn't go out anymore so much so it's TV war or he's on computer for ages. Argh men!!
Today, booked myself a gig. Just me goping out and told him. (he a bit gutted maybe)
And he does NO BLOODY HOUSEWORK EVER. Does a few dishes and then thinks he deserves a medal or something. If i were you i would get out more and sod him!!! good luck!

oh yeah and it's like a who has the worst back competition in this house too! I remember that feeling when preg. Felt like agony sometimes, so I didn't moan usually but sometimes snapped and said "CANNOT DO IT BY MYSELF WILL YOU BLOODY HELP ME HERE!!?"

No; it's not you!! "Well, You wanted another child" is so unhelpful. he sounds thoroughly miserable and grumpy. I guess if he was drinking alot it's a bit of detox he's going through so he's feeling really irritable. Like coming down off cigerettes. Was he like this before? It doesn't sound like it as you say you haven't argued this much in five years. Have you told him how irritable and unpleasant he's being or do you just keep quiet about it? He sounds alittle depresssed, but I guess if you give up booze you'll feel like that for a while till you get it out of your system. Exercise and getting out would cheer him up but he's not helping himself sitting indoors all day. Can you trick him into going out cos once he's out there he'll probably enjoy himself more than sat on the couch. Can you get him to take DD out for the day, somewhere fun like the zoo; can you insist? Cos he might then actually come home feeling proud and smug that he's taken her out and feel a bit more cheerful. Beg a male friend to take him out, not out drinking but out playing five a side or some form of exercise. He'll only cheer up if he gets off his butt. I'd be snappy if I had no mates and sat indoors all day feeling the depressing after effects of coming off alcohol. Get him out of the house!! Preferably with DD.

Advice: get some advice from those who know you and DH. Talk to him. Treat him to night out (cinema ticket for 1 ?!!)

Sorry indie. Just realise I have ranted and not given you any good ideas or consrtuctive stuff at all. But i do sympathise.

indie, it might be that he was hooked on the alcohol more than you both realise. I think he may well need some help, and you. It is really tough when you have children, DP and i have been together for 15 years, i had a child from a previous relationship, however he wasn't closely involved with parenting for the first few years (wanted to see how we went) but since we have had DD2, our relationship has really battled. I have had PND big time and he has found that really hard to cope with. The bickering is what strikes me, and it is because we are knackered. If i remind myself that things are tough because things are tough it helps. It also helps to remember why i love him.

He does sound like he needs a kick up the bum, but from his general lack of motivation and complaining, he sounds like he might be depressed and it may well be worth seeking some help, either as a couple or alone.

The fact that his behaviour may have a root cause doesnt mean it is any less difficult to live with, sending you a big supportive hug. Your DH is lucky to have you.

I've told him, forcefully and nicely, to no avail.
I read the same thing wowoo, it definately wasn't a mutual decision first time round, was this time, although now he seems to say it was my choice not his (mmm, didn't make you have unprotected sex with me!).
I could try and make him go out, not sure I want to really, he's being so unpleasant, is it fair on dd?
Like the idea of a male friend, have a few who might take him out.

Not fair on DD but my dh never sees it that way either. I 'nag' , but he's asked me why ds cries and moans when with him more (cos you're stuck in the house dur!)
My dh doesn't usually drink excessively but did last time after an argument an then came home later and was horrid. Know he is stressed depressed. Can you have a eve/day just 2 of you to talk/have fun whatever?

Good luck anyway. I am off to dream about a dream holiday or my ideal home or something...