Is life supposed to be this hard

[Pridehouse]

Please bare with me I'll make it as short as possible.

My life......

1. Got married to an abusive man (didn't know he was abusive was with him for 11 years) it was mental abuse.

2.while married I lost all my friends cause ex didn't want me to have any friends. And constant put downs from him.

1. After left husband I reconnected with a couple of friends.

1. Got my first job in years. Made really good friends with the one lady I worked with. We were like sisters for 3 years.

1. After 3 years this friend turned on me and told the boss she's refusing to work with me anymore so I lost my job cause they had nothing else for me.

1. Got another job at a care home where the boss was a bully. Repeatedly told me to go home. Eventually fired me cause she overheard me talking about her. I was asking another member of staff what I could do to make her happy.

1. Got another job. Was going well. Got promoted to supervisor. Got my best friend a job there working with me. She then turned on me, just up and left and told the boss not to tell me her reason for leaving. I messaged her to ask her why and her son sent me threatening messages never to contact her again.

1. Same job, started working with someone else. He didn't like it when I pointed out something he'd missed in the job or needed redoing. (That was my job as supervisor). He again got nasty and sent me messages threatening me and my kids. I left the job.

1. Most recent. Close friends with my neighbour. I was feeling used cause she only talked to me when she wanted something. I told her this and again she got really nasty. Messages then blocked me and told all her friends bad things about me who now for the past 3 days they have been going round next door. Slagging me off when they know I can hear them and playing ridiculously loud music until 1am.

Last night my kids got fed up of it and went outside and soaked them with the hosepipe. Her friends started shouting abuse at my kids. I was in bed with a migraine trying to sleep but couldn't cause of the noise.

Is life really supposed to be like this. I have no friends, I'm not in a relationship and I don't want to be. but friends would be nice. Who don't hurt me like I've been hurt in the past

OP you posted about this recently about being toxic... you just sound like you are really struggling and under a lot of pressure.
I get that, but your kids letting hosepipes off is very reactive and not helped has it?
Please get some support from your GP or mental health support.
Everything changes over time, but try not to catastrophise or do stuff in the moment when stressed.
Maybe your kids could go round and apologise and you can explain to your neighbour you are at breaking point and try to call a truce. Is this additional drama really worth the stress?
I hope you get support soon.

No, life shouldn't be hard and you too can lead a happy one, I promise. I agree with @Angelswithflirtyfaces OP - please speak to your GP about how you're feeling. They will give you the help and support you need to start enjoying life again. It may not seem like it right now, but it is absolutely possible and it's never too late to start over. My advice would be to keep everyone else at arms length until you get yourself sorted. Good luck and stay strong.

I don't see why my kids need to apologise. They were the ones playing loud music. Shouting and slagging me off. They're the ones that called my kids dickheads and other names