Sad, angry and regret

[Sadmummlaugh]

I keep telling my DH and therapist how I'm feeling and all I get back is it takes time. I don't think they really understand how I'm feeling.

He doesn't understand I feel alone seeing him and our kid bonding and my DH keep saying its great and he understands why ppl say parenting is rewarding. I dont have that bond with my kid, im not interested in helping but i do it anyway because I have to and im starting to lose interest in my relationship with my DH because im realising that we had totally different life goals. He wanted a family and I didnt. Now im in it because he sold me the idea of what our family looks like but the reality is I hate it. Every bit of it and the only time i escape from it is when im asleep. Now I'm starting to resent him and my kid. Neither of them deserve this. I don't know how much longer I can hold on.

I dont know what to do. Continue with therapist and hope for the best or cut my losses and leave 😞

@Sadmummlaugh sounds like you are having a very rough time.

How old is your child?

Keep going with the therapy.

Are you getting any other support for your mental health?

Hes 6. My DH is trying very hard and work has been great too. But it feels so lonely. Everyone is telling me it will get better. Just wait. But its been so long. The feelings r just getting worse I feel. I have read of some mothers leaving their family but most of the stories also combined with an unhappy marriage which isn't the case for me. Despite my DH not understanding how I feel, we have a wonderful marriage. I just don't like my child. I have no interest but I have no choice because its not fair on the kid. We chose to have a family so im now stuck here day in and day out

@Sadmummlaugh

I was going to say "it will get better" as I know that from my own experience, but I appreciate that is not very helpful in your current situation.

You say " it has been so long". How long have you felt like this? And how long have the feelings been getting worse?

You sound so unhappy. It seems like it could be deeper than just your situation, so I am not sure making big changes like leaving would solve the problem.

Do you work? Do you have hobbies and socialise outside of just your family?

Have you spoken to your doctor?

Sorry for all the questions, you obviously do not have to answer any of them of you don't want to.

Thanks @Snowshower

Its been the entire time. I love my job and I dont feel its very taxing cause I like what I do. I have hobbies and socialise but it just makes me feel its not enough.

I have been prescribed some medication but I had to come off them cause it was making me really slow and couldn't do my job or even give simple instructions so I had to stop taking them after a while.

I dont mind the questions. I think I need to know that someone understands and what they did to keep going. I mean, I've tried everything, I've exercised, meditated, yoga, doctor, socialise, hobbies, routine but nothing is working for me. I have resorted to self harm when it get really bad and have contemplated suicide as a last resort. Thats why I feel leaving my be the better option. 😢

My other mom friends dont either. They all day the same thing so it just makes me feel more isolated.

Sounds like you have post natal depression OP. Or some kind of depression. I think you may need to see a psychiatrist as opposed to a therapist.