I’m not coping and don’t know if I’ll get better

[coralpig]

I’m crumbling badly. I have two very young children who are my universe. My husband is burnt out. I’m on the top dose of my antidepressant. I have a therapy appointment very soon. I’ve experienced a lot of trauma in the last few years and I don’t think I can mask it anymore. I hate my life right now and don’t know how it came to be this shit.

Is it possible to get better? I have had blips in the past but I’m really scared about the impact on my children.

Yes. It is possible to get better. You will get better. You are taking steps to get better with medication and therapy.

Try not to worry about your children. I had a really tough time when my kids were younger and recently talked to them about it now they are a lot older. They have no recollection at all of me ever being unwell when they were young.

No one choses trauma, ever. It is a result of something that is done to them without their permission, consent or invitation or is something that happens totally outside of their control.

Therefore blame, guilt, regret or judgement is completely inappropriate. You don't need to mask it - it's not yours to own and doesn't belong to you but to those who bear responsibility or to life's cruel twists.

Please read and re-read this. It's true.