Social services

[Boppa12]

I've found myself in the most awful place. After being stonewalled for nearly 3 yrs after my husband said he didnt love me and doing nothing about it. I made moves via a solicitor and have struggled to navigate us and our 4 kids out of this horrible place. He then got me arrested as I threatened to kill myself as was so frustrated he wasnt speaking and got locked up for the night for breach of the peace. Hes never let me back home and social services are investigating safeguarding. It's been 3 weeks now. I feel sick. He always said he would make me go mad but this is awful. He said hes gonna get a non molestation order? I feel I've put up with with emotion trauma of stonewalling now hes in a place he wants to be and that's just me out the picture.
Please any advice

Have you a solicitor?

Sorry - I mean have you a solicitor assisting you now?

No I went for initial advice that day and it all kicked off that night.

I would go back to a solicitor and speak to your gp. Maybe some therapy would help. Social services will investigate because of the comments you made to harm yourself but if you can show you are addressing those and maybe mention what your ex husband has been like and the comments he has made as they are worrying. Also I would find accommodation for yourself too

You say you ‘re being investigated regarding safeguarding?
what do you mean investigated - are they assessing you?
have you been allocated a social worker?

is it because your ex told them you threatened to kill your self?

Don’t contact your ex husband unless it’s specifically about the children and do via text messages so it’s in writing. Also, any time it’s over the phone or in person have some one there to witness it.

Thats correct.

Where are you currently living if you are out of the family home and have you got access to your children?
sorry for all the questions op. Obviously you don’t need to answer any you don’t want to- it’s just so I can offer advice. ♥️♥️I’m sorry you’re gluing through this.

I've been to gp and also I told them about this situation a yr ago too and how it's made me so low. They did put me to councilling which I attended. They have referred me back to councilling. My older 2 boys are teens but it's important I'm there for them and my younger 2 I've saw 3 times but the time I went to the house for them he called the police? The social worker said I can go home but he keeps threatening the police when I call and all of a sudden I'm using coercive behaviour and aggressive abuse? I'm not. And I'm current at my mams and hes home with the kids. For someone who has not said anything for 3 years.....hes all talk now.

It’s really difficult when you are no longer in the family home op.
can you communicate with your older kids independently?
good advice from the poster above about not phoning the house and turning up and putting everything in writing.
It is a common tactic for abusive partners to accuse the other of abuse.

Do you feel your ex was abusive towards you?
If so have you spoke to your Social Worker about it? You could complete a DASH.

You can arrange for visitation where the children are met by a nominated neutral person so you don’t have to see your ex.
If you are living with your Mum - is she regarded as a protective factor that would be supportive if the children were in her home?

He told me he doesnt live me and wanted to move out 3 yes ago. Has stonewalled me since but been a great dad still then lockdown etc so we both worked and managed the kids. After lockdown I broached more questions like whays happening, this awful, we cant live this way etc....nothing. My mams great with the kids. My eldest is 16 and studies, part time job and getting on with his stuff. My 13 yr old has stopped speaking to me but it's not easy as he wont see me and I cant go to house yet. My 2 lil ones miss me like mad. I feel police, all the stuff hes claiming like DV and hes acting on his parental right to safeguard his children. I feel a sitting duck and dont know what to do.

I wish I had left 3 years ago. I just assumed he would navigate us through divorce house etc. Now it's like I've said one bad thing and him and social services are all protecting him and the kids of course yet I feel I've tried my best to look for a solution all this time.

yeah he left the relationship 3 years ago and has been waiting for this ever since hasn't he. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Umm hmm...seems so. I feel like I havent got a leg to stand on.