Is anyone awake?

[missbipolar]

I've been very open on here about my mental health struggles. I've recently (in the last few days) been discharged from section as I was no longer manic, but I've completely crashed today, I just want to end things. I've fucked my life up so bad, I honestly don't think I can cope anymore and don't see anyway out. Not really sure why I'm posting, just want to get it out I guess.

Sorry life is throwing shit at you right now, OP.

Sometimes speaking to a real, physical person helps - have you ever called The Samaritans? I have at times in my life and sometimes just another voice at the end of a telephone helps.

I hope things improve soon ❤️

I can’t sleep.

If you’re actually seriously having ideation, call someone.

You know this is the down slope of the cycle though. Can you rationalise it that way at all? Or doesn’t it work like that?

Would talking about it help? Or random distracting chit chat be better?

I've called the crisis line and tried their "helpful" suggestions. I'm seeing my cpn at 12 as well.

I know that the come down is normally from a high. I'm not even sure I feel low, just completely and utterly numb at this point, I've had to take myself out of my room so I'm sitting on the kitchen floor, but I know if I stayed in my room I would of done something

I'm awake I'm on a night shift is there anyone who you can ring to have a chat with or is there something you can do to distract yourself for a bit some cleaning/baking paint your nails maybe

Go for a night time walk?

Offering a handhold, are you able to call a friend or family or the samaritans ? Its good youve got an appointment at midday and sorry its so very tough right now. I hope this feeling passes soon. 💐

When I'm awake at this time I head to the 24 hour M&S for a chat with the staff

I don't really have any friends, my flatmates home but I don't want to wake him up.

I've tried shout because I don't really feel up to physically talking but they just told me to go to A&E.

I've cleaned my room, and then re cleaned it again, done the kitchen as well. I don't really live in a safe area so not sure a walk is a good idea.

I've taken some diazapam about an hour ago but it's made no difference

It almost sounds like you’re wired but shattered if the diaz isn’t working and you’ve got energy to keep cleaning. Is that in your usual pattern?

Different, I know, but I get like that when I have to take prednisolone. Sort of down but jangly. The only thing that helps is comedy I know very well, or music I know word for word, just something familiar to listen to, (and something to do with my hands). Do you have comfort things like that?

I am sorry you feel so low. I'm assuming you have felt this way before? & Things have improved? They will again, but appreciate from where you are now it's hard to see. Does your mental health usually follow a pattern?

Believe me when I say that whatever you think there will be at least one person in this world who would be gutted if something happened to you.

Can you listen to a podcast op?

What kind of thing do you like?
Do you like animals? This is quite relaxing and may help distract you:

https://maximumfun.org/podcasts/just-the-zoo-of-us/

Sending calm vibes to you x

I don't really think I'm wired as such, I took the Diaz to see if it would help lesson the audio hallucinations (sometimes it does sometimes it doesn't)

I'm listening to music- I've put on my 'happy' playlist.

I've been this way before, I've had multiple suicide attempts and 6 sections the last 15 months, but things never really seem to improve to much.

Oh you poor thing. You’ve really been through it.

Whats the plan for tomorrow? Can you get some medical help? Do they adjust your meds?

There's room for a meds increase, they're also trying to figure out what to do about my antidepressant (I had to come of it while manic) the crisis line have emailed my cpn to ask her to get me an urgent appointment with my psych as well

Good luck today. Hope they get it all tweaked for you.

Hope you get the help you need today op x

My psych came with my CPN, they threatened to get the police involved if I didn't attend A&E, as soon as I got here I was put on a 5:2, the next assessment probably won't be until tomorrow though

So you’ve been compulsorily admitted? Have you still got your phone? How are you feeling now?

I'm sorry to hear this, I do hope you can get your meds looked at quickly.
Best wishes

You did all the right things to get yourself and help did come. They did seem quite full on as you was willing to get help. I hope you are on meds feeling better.
You don't realize how you are better than you think. You didn't come here without seeking help. You did get the help you needed.

I hope the 5:2 isn't too traumatic and they sort out your meds.