Antidepressent advice

[CeltictigerMum]

Hello, I am turning 50 this year, and after years of being in denial about my anxiety and depression, trying to battle it myself with exercise , a short bought of therapy, nutrition, and in recent years hrt( which has helped a lot), I still have an underlying sadness, which I've had for decades . Even when I appear happy I'm not really. I have a loving family, two kids and a fab husband , but nothing ever really excites or enthuses me . I lack a lust for life, a zest is missing. I'm currently on holiday , and so lucky to be away, but still feel something is missing . I am gradually distancing myself from people , family and friends more and more, and much prefer my own company. I have been totally against " giving in " to antidepressents over the years, but have been feeling recently that maybe the time has come. I need to just see if the fog or "film" over my life can be lifted . Does anyone have any advice about which are the most effective/ least addictive/ least risky for putting on weight( I am not overweight , but bmi higher range)and can be taken in conjunction with oestrogel and utrogestan pill (14 days a month) hrt ? I'm still not 100% sure I will go ahead, and I would ideally like it to be a temporary thing, if this is possible ? A kick-start?Thanks in advance, any advice greatly appreciated.

I think you need to work out what the underlying sadness is/from and deal with it bottom up.a previous job fucked my head as the boss was a bitch and I saw at the end that I needed them to be in a good mood in order for me to be ok that my good mood is validated. It’s bollocks. I see that now a year of being on ADs.
they were the cause of my MH issues this time around.I changed jobs and whilst I still see the old manager it’s only fleeting.

they are doing the same to person who took on my role when I left!!!

I think it is definitely worth having a discussion with the GP about your treatment options.

Going on medication is not giving in and is absolutely the right thing for some people.

Also you mentioned having a bit of therapy. Did you find that useful? Perhaps this could be another option to explore further?

You can’t always work out what the underlying sadness is in depression though. You just feel sad. It doesn’t need a reason.

Endogenous depression doesn’t have an identifiable “reason” - as OP says, her life is pretty good, with no obvious trigger.
OP, if you had asthma, you wouldn’t try to struggle on and not “give in” to an inhaler, would you? Wheezing in a heap, gasping “Ventolin is just for wimps!”
That is evidently ridiculous - so why do the same with depression, when treatments exist?

Go and see your GP. Antidepressants vary in their profile of action and side effects, and we on MN can’t recommend a specific one for you. Some are more calming, so useful for anxiety and depression combined, others are more alerting, so good for loss of motivation and energy, for example.

Bear in mind that they all take at least four to six weeks to be effective, so don’t give up ,thinking they’ve failed after a fortnight.
Side effects are often worst in the early weeks too, so again, try to give them a fair trial.

Thanks for all the replies. I suppose I'm just wondering if anyone has felt the same, and how they have felt after taking the ADS. I understand that everyone's different and medication effects vary from person to person. My childhood was stressful, my Dad was a major factor in creating anxiety in the home, not just for me. He was / is a bully, a sociopath, a narcissist, a truly selfish man, who did nothing to build our confidence or happiness , and was violent and aggressive at times. He would come home at night drunk sometimes, and I would be waiting anxiously in bed for the front door to open. So there is definitely a background of unhappiness , but life now is so much better. Just wish I was a bit happier . The therapy was good as I got a lot off my chest, but didn't fel it resolved anything or helped v much.

I think you might be my twin, except my mother was the aggressive parent and I haven't tried HRT yet. I'm just starting to think I really need to go to the GP. I'd be interested to know how you go on.