It's all getting a bit much.

[CreatingHavoc]

I am feeling extremely low at the moment. I feel all the life choices I've made over the last year or so have been the wrong choices and it seems no one wants to be around me or talk to me anymore. The only person who has any time for me is my ex, which is complicated in itself, but even he seems less keen to talk to me recently. Not even my mum seems to care, despite knowing I'm really struggling. I don't feel I can talk to friends because they have their own stuff going on and those close to me seem to be fed up of me.

I suffer with anxiety a lot of the time but more recently I think I have sunk in to something more continuous than anxiety. The anxiety is still there but there is a general overriding feeling of absolute sadness and hopelessness. I keep making mistakes and forgetting things and seem to have slowly ruined my life over the last couple of years by making terrible decisions.

I have a phone appointment booked with IAPT next week as it's all getting a bit much to deal with. I don't know what will come of the appointment. I'm worried they will say I need to go to the gp and get some antidepressants but I'm very wary of taking them as most medication affects me quite strongly. I really feel like I need to talk to someone to make sense of what is going on. I don't know how to start feeling better when I'm a single parent, on universal credit, one dc with ASD who seems to hate me most of the time and another dc who is struggling to adjust to our new family dynamic. (Only split with ex a few months ago.)

I was coping well at first after we split but now I am not coping at all. I feel like I need some help or a break to be able to get on top of everything but I don't know where to start. UC are saying I'm already not earning enough and need to look for more work so I don't know how I'm every going to get any time to sort my head or my life out.

Mo

Sorry @CreatingHavoc - the page jumped up and I pressed post!
I'm sorry you're feeling so low. You don't have to go on antidepressants if you don't want to although trialing a low dose might help. It does sound like you need someone to talk to so counselling should help - someone impartial. When you're anxious everything seems more heightened - your senses are on high alert and you're more aware of everything that it can feel overwhelming at times. Mistakes can happen because your brain is running 100 miles an hour. I'm sorry I don't have much advice other than speak to your GP. I hope things improve for you and you find some support as it sounds like you need it 💐

@Livebythecoast thanks for your reply. I am starting to wonder if some kind of medication is needed. Something I've noticed is that things seem much worse in the 2 weeks before my period so I think a gp appointment is possibly in order. Hopefully they'll be able to suggest something that isn't typical antidepressants.

Hi again @CreatingHavoc. If your GP surgery offers econsults on their website it's a good way to reach out to your doctor without a face to face appointment initially. It allows you to write down everything you're feeling in your own time as when we're anxious, it can be difficult talking to a GP about how we feel and if you're like me, forget to tell them important things as usually you've only got a 10 minute or so window to explain everything. An econsult allows you time to write everything you want to and prompts you with questions. They may also be able to signpost you for help with your DC as well. It sounds like you're dealing with a lot but sometimes it's baby steps to gain some control over an overwhelming situation. You're welcome to PM me if you'd rather as whilst I'm not in your exact situation, I have and do suffer with anxiety so would be happy to offer some advice and I've worked in GP surgeries for 14 years if you need any help in that area as it can be daunting approaching your GP with MH issues sometimes.