Had yet a other diagnosis and kids not listening

[nancy2022]

Hi I'm currently diagnosed with
Social Anxiety
Depression
Sleep Apnea
Autism
Dyspraxia

I think I have OCD and Dyslexia.

Im very low on vitamin d as I don't go out and the dr told me to take supplements. Im on Sertraline and blood thinners as I had blood clots last year for an unknown reason so I'm on them for life.

I don't work. I've tried. My head can't cope. Im on standard living for mobility but physically I'm fine although unfit and over weight. They gave it me for not going out and following a route alone. I actually think I deserve the higher rate for daily living to be honest. I had to appeal just to get the £90 a month. I struggle with everything in the list that isn't physical. They have all my assessments diagnosis and medication.

They said I have no medical input and I don't take medication for anxiety and lots of inaccurate information.

Im only 38 and yet people in their 90s are more active, happy and social than me.

My main concern is money and debt but also my kids. There are 10 and 12. They don't listen. They back chat. Make me feel horrible. I have no rules or consequences. If I take their phone they will kick off and my autism cannot handle the noise.

My youngest slept with me from newborn until 10 there was an overlap of 1-2 years where they were both with me but didn't want to sleep next to each other or be on the edge so that was horrendous. My 10 year old has been in my bed two years. She's waiting for an autism assessment. She will hum or sing to get herself to sleep while banging her head on a pillow. I can't stand repetitive noises.

I keep telling them one day they will accidentally break each others bone or fall down the stairs fighting. They will end up in a and e hurt and they will know I can't project them.

I have close family but they keep saying my disabilities are only mild. I'm married but I picked someone with the worst possible job. He's away all the time.

I'm sat outside cold just to stop hearing them shout but they keep opening the window. Dd12 just shouted out the window sarcastically " you're a great mum you are. You're so lazy." I don't want to go in. They come to me with any issue big or small. I help them with issues. Buy them what they need. Do everything for them.

When dh phones or is home they know how to act so then can control it. DH and my siblings are a matter of fact and say just tell them.

I have no friends. I don't speak to anyone in person or online or via texts.

I won't go to any counselling or advice groups as I've tried all of that.

I'm dreading my kids leaving home as I won't see anyone for weeks.

What a life eh. I'm not sure why I'm writing but I just think what's the point to this?

Thanks if you read to the end.

That at sounds very difficult for you all.

Is there anything that gives you pleasure? Art, reading, cooking, Singing, riding a bike ...? Or something that one or both of the DC enjoys doing that you could all do together for a short while?
Could you aim to ensure each of you do one thing each day that gives you pleasure. And one chore.

Where does DH sleep when he's home? Why don't you make it ambition for your DC to sleep in their own beds every night by the end of the summer hols?

Hello thank you for your reply. My husband has the bed and I have the sofa or share with dd because of my snoring.

Children need boundaries without them they feel insecure and act out. You need to work out what is most important to you and make boundary, explain them to your children and stick to them. If they kick off so be it, but you need coping strategies to deal with them, ear plugs or ear defenders.

Both children would count as young carers so contact that organisation so the children can get out of the house, often someone will do the pick up and drop off as they are used to working with children with disabled parents.

You can't work outside the home but can you work from it? If you have any art or It skills then set your self up on etsy or similar and sell printables, plenty of YouTube channels to show you how, it may not be a huge earner but will give you something to do and might improve your self esteem.

Hi I've sold everything from home that I can thing off but no one is interested.

School said my dd is a carer but she doesn't actually do anything. They don't tidy their room. Put washing in the basket. Put rubbish in the bin etc

Has your DH spoken to them about their behaviour whilst he's away? And what he expects them to behave like?

They need boundaries and consequences, it doesn't sound like there are any. I know noise is a trigger for you, have you considered wearing ear defenders or ear plugs when they kick off?